Sometimes life is difficult.
Some lessons have to be learned the hard way.
But this is only sometimes… not all the time.
Because of my experiences in my childhood,
and repeated throughout my life,
I realized I had created these as the lenses of the glasses that I see through—
dooming me to this being the only way life could be lived.
Because of my experiences growing up,
I created the belief, “I don’t need you.”
it took someone else being a powerful stand
for me to get this insight.
Without their intercession,
I never would have realized that I held this as a hidden truth
underneath my work towards healthy relationships
with the Earth, with each other, and all beings.
As much work as I have done to heal
my experiences of trauma with my past,
I find that my past gets sneaky and puts on different masks
to disguise the fact
that it is still my past
pretending to be something new…
and oh so important.
My work is to heal and transform what I can
and to embrace and accept
those parts of my past that I cannot change—the ones that
bring me my gifts—
even as they also bring the parts of me that set me up
for struggle, suffering, and set-backs.
“Great Mystery (insert whatever name you choose here that resonates with your connection to something greater than yourself)
grant me the courage to change the things I can.
The serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
And the wisdom to know the difference.”
How true this is no matter our religious or non-religious beliefs.
I work hard
to be the very best me that I can be.
I am too hard…
on myself and others—
my knee jerk reaction to growing up in the profound hypocricy
of Christian religion.
The gift hidden in this part of my past…
I live my life to a level of excellence that holds me to a higher
commitment of being…
even when I am tired, frustrated, cynical, angry, and hurt.
I always say, “Love is the fiercest task master/mistress I have ever had.
Love holds me accountable to be bigger than my whining, my reasons,
and in all ways bigger than I know myself to be.”
Every time I think I am at peace with my past,
It shows up wearing a sneaky mask—
tricking and tripping me.
My work is to find the courage to change the things I can.
The serenity to accept the things I cannot.
And the wisdom to know the difference.
May we all find the courage to heal and transform the parts of our past that no longer serve us. The serenity, grace, and compassion to accept the things that are just part of who we are—even when they challenge us. And the wisdom to know the difference.
julia butterfly hill