Insights Into The Mundane

Hello Again Friends.

 

Yes, it has been a very long time since I wrote last. 

I lost my writing inspiration.  When I was reflecting on why this was, I realized that so much of what I do and offer is free.  As much as I am fulfilled by being in service and being able to make a positive difference and contribution to others, our world, and planet, after years and years of my right-livelihood earning opportunities becoming less and less, and at the same time the requests from others wanting and needing things from me always in high demand, I am less and less inspired to do the things that require time, energy, and effort from me but offer no real form of reciprocity in return. 

I do not wish to demean or belittle the things I do that have no financial reciprocity in exchange, because of course there is so much value in our lives and world beyond just the monetary.  Rather just to acknowledge that I am not a bottomless well.  I became famous for being an “activist” not for being an actress.  Being famous for being an activist means that everyone knows about you and knows about you within the context of caring, committed service, and that is how you are constantly approached by people day in and day out. 

People do not even think about all the thousands upon thousands of emails and messages I have to manage every year.   The hours poured into being in communication with people because I am too caring to just ignore people.  All the well-meaning and wonderful people young, old, and every age between, who want to ask me questions (often times for school reports, projects or interviews, all with timelines attached) have me help them find out information, ask me to come to their school or event (almost 100% of the time wanting me to come for free or for expenses only) or sometimes just sending a positive supportive message, but if I did not reply they would never know if I got the message, so I respond to those as well.   Almost everyone is kind (although I certainly get to be with some really self-centered, self-occupied, and just down-right mean and nasty people too,) and do not really think about they’re reaching out to me within the context of one of me and thousands upon thousands of needs and wants coming at me constantly. 

One of the numerous reasons I left living in the US is because I was so tired of having to always manage people wanting to talk with me everywhere I went.   Again, super kind people, but I felt like if I got asked yet one more time, “Oh Julia!  Hi!  How are you?  What are you up to these days?  What is your latest BIG thing?” I was going to scream!  At first when asked what my next BIG thing is, I would reply kindly that I do not live my life trying to break records or prove anything to anyone, but I eventually reached the point where I now reply, “Wow, you know, I would LOVE to know what YOUR BIG thing is!  Have YOU done even ONE thing big?”  And usually, their answer is to hem and haw.  Why?  Because they want their world to be better without wanting to stretch too far out of their comfort zone, and instead want people like me to keep “Wowing” them so they can pin their hopes (and their critiques) on us and let themselves off the hook for having to step it up in their own life.

Anyway, that leads me back around to why I have lost inspiration for writing—because it is yet another thing I do for free.  I don’t have all the myriad things it takes to turn a blog into a financial generating opportunity.  So, I offer the blog because it is another thing people like and want (well… some people that is) and some people seem to find positive value from it.  But as my life flows on, I find I would rather go swim in the sea, make food for friends, play with my cats, read a book… anything else that is just for me instead of yet one more thing for free for everyone else.  And that is my insight.

Sorry.  I know it is not very inspiring or enlightened or deep.  It is basic.  Mundane.  And it is me.  So, although, I will write on occasion, it will be only when it seems to be the thing coming through me at that time. 

May your life be filled with abundance in all the ways that nourish you.

 

Love,

 

julia

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Published in: on July 20, 2013 at 6:15 am  Comments (27)