What We Choose To See Is What We See

Hi Friends,

Recently, i have had someone who is very clear about their dislike of me and has been very mean and advocating violence in how they choose to react to me.  

i notice within myself, the initial reaction of anger, frustration, and judgment… i mean like really!!!  (Everything i have done in my “activism” has been peaceful.  What is wrong with people that they say such hateful and violent things to someone who has only done peaceful things!!?)  Mostly, i just notice how much judgment arises in me in such moments.   i can be a REAL meanie!!!!!!  in my thoughts!!!!  But because of the work i have done on myself over all these years, i notice pretty quickly how judgmental i become, how condescending in my thoughts, how i create an “other” so easily in moments like these.  

Being in the public eye is very hard for me, but at the same time it holds me so much more accountable than i know i would be if i wasn’t under scrutiny. i am a human being, and i know that without the public spotlight, i would fall to my “lesser” self a lot more than i do.  The spotlight sets the bar higher for myself than i might set for myself otherwise.  Yes, this is me being completely open and honest about my humanity. It isn’t the first time and it won’t be the last.

i know that i am committed to transforming my “reaction” and instad dropping into my most authentic and present self.  The present self does not react because reaction is based on the past.  The present self, takes a deep breath, and senses out the best way to respond vs. react.  When i am completely present, i know that the person saying rude, hateful and violent things to me is reacting to me; defending what they feel is threatened.

When i am completely present, i know i do not need to react and defend; there is only the place i choose to stand.  So, i take the deep breath, and CHOOSE to stand in love and compassion (even though there is definitely the piece of myself that would just love to beat the crap out of certain people ; ) i know that part of myself is the reacting, defensive, stuck in the past person.  The present being i know i can be, and authentically am, knows that i do not need to defend; only love and stand fiercely in love in all the ways it manifests. i know that keeping my commitment to being present and loving makes ME a better person.  i can not control how other people act and react.  i can only control how i choose to show up and respond in the face of what life sends my way.  In this commitment, i recognize this mean, hateful, angry person is my teacher, my angel.  What we “know” untested is merely an idea.  An idea that gets tested over and over becomes a stronger muscle that we can use to accomplish our goals and visions for a better world.

Instead of being hurt and angry by the person, which only drains my joy, energy, passion, and power; i can instead find a sense of peace and empowerment through the trial, through the “workout” of the muscle of my heart.  In this place instead of being drained and held back by my judgments; i am inspired and empowered to transform the hatred in our world to love, compassion, and possibility for a more caring and compassionate world… because it first has to start with me.  

So, even though i notice my initial “triggers” what i am left with is a sense of gratitude for the lessons and the opportunity to grow. 

So, “Thank You” to my angel who came disguised as a person filled with hatred and vitriol. i am a better person from the experience.

May we all find ways to heal ourselves and the world around us through every experience life sends our way.  

Love and Gratitude,



Published in: on January 27, 2013 at 4:07 am  Comments (13)  

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13 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I think I know so much what you feel.

    One view that helps me very much is to remember how much all of us are a part of “nature.” And that nature has noises and threats and bad surprises such as thunder, lightning, tornadoes, and such. Then I think: would I be angry, defensive, or judgmental to nature? Maybe if I were having a really bad day, with a bit of yelling at the sky. But generally, no, because I’d know the sky isn’t “choosing” to rain on me, and yelling or being angry about it won’t help a thing.

    Bad people, or people in bad moments, are just part of nature. Who knows what history led up to their bursts. So I try to treat them like rainy days or tornado warnings on the radio. Take any safety measures necessary, dress appropriately, and not feel personally diminished.

    Works for me at least.

  2. See > “Ninjas”! 😉 – Also, I like your words: “i would fall to my ‘lesser’ self a lot”. That resonates. Something I need to think on… Thank You. ~ Bill

  3. Every moment an opportunity for either aliveness or sleep, love or fear, presence or dreamwalking through past or future. Awakeness is a moment to moment choosing. It IS the choosing. Difficult people or situations grant us an opportunity to see the stark difference between our choices. I try to always choose the truth of my heart in the moment over any mind strategizing towards a particular future outcome. To do what feels right in this moment rather than trying to aim for a ‘good’ result in some future moment. This way I always feel full and the only feedback I ever need is the feeling in my own heart, and it comes immediately. It’s very cool.

  4. These are precisely the kind of psychopaths that come pounding on your door at 3a.m. in the morning wanting to have it out. At least that has been my experience. What you need is either a very big gun or a very large dog – or, both – with a personal body guard if you can afford one. Never under estimate these creeps. They don’t think like you or I. Trust me – it pays to take that extra step in security!

  5. Good work Julia, be thankful to that person !!
    As a matter of fact, he/she came DISGUISED as a mean, hateful person filled with hatred and vitriol
    But I am ready to bet that he/she is only DISGUISED !
    And, of course, you are a better person from that experience


  6. Love the analogy Berick!

    Thanks for sharing it!


  7. Bravo Dear Julia. Bravo.

  8. Julia,one trhing is for damn sure:You don’t desreve violence of any kind inflicted on you,period!None of us do.Please consider filing a Restraining Order immeadetely against this individual.whose threatening you.

  9. =) happy thoughts a word of caution as you progress in public life we may be able to take that breathe less often. there is also a growing perchance to actual violence by the so called fan. it can also manifest against ones we love. care for or support if the disease has grown. i like your choice to use the vitriol as it will eventually consume itself.and i am pleased u recognize its really there defense of a perceived offense to them. the sad thing is u can see their view but they will not consider yours keep up the connection and happy thoughts hugs 2 the framily …. =_)

  10. I love what you say, “What We Choose To See Is What We See.” I am a very gentle spirit but get tangled up inside all too often as I can be a bit of a “meanie” on the inside too. It has not been a recipe for health for me so I am trying to lighten some of those darker spaces in me. I recently read a quote from Abraham Lincoln that got me thinking, “I don’t like that guy; I need to get to know him better.” There is always more than we see at any given time. As hard as it must be for you to be a private person in a public arena, I am grateful for the ways you share yourself with us. You never know the seeds you plant at any given time.
    With Love and Gratitude…

  11. Julia, because you are a public figure you will be adored…and you will be hated. I have always admired your courage and your ability to take the higher road. However…if someone tries to hurt you…it is not unjust to listen to the words of Patrick Swayze in the movie “Roadhouse”….”be nice….until it is time not to be nice”!
    Always be nice to people who deserve it, but if someone is threatening you…a stun gun is a nice option! 🙂 (I don’t like violence either…but if someone is going to hurt me or someone I love, or an animal, or a child…all bets are off!!)

  12. I needed to thank you for this great read!! I certainly loved every little bit of
    it. I have you bookmarked to check out new things you post…

  13. So glad this spoke to something important for you at this time Gisele!

    Love and Blessings,


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