Oh, The Irony

Dear Friends,

 

I have not really written in so long.

 

I have been full on living my life for the last 5 months—so much so that I have not found the time to stop and write about it.  Part of it has been that I haven’t felt very positive at all about the state of affairs in America.  Combined with that I have been so much enjoying my life in Belize that it seemed like all I could write about is either how completely disgusted with the Obama administration I am or how much I am enjoying living simply in a beautiful place that nourishes me on so many levels.

 

Neither one felt really relevant, so I have just kept quiet—except on my Facebook pages where I post little bits frequently, but don’t have to write longer pieces, and I don’t feel the same need to edit myself as I do with a blog.

 

Now, I found myself on a plane, heading back to the US after a 5-month hiatus, and I am finding myself having a hard time preparing for it.  My energetic body has become so attuned to living in a place where the main forms of transportation are bicycles, golf carts, and boats; my daily commute to town for fresh veggies and visiting my partner of nearly a year is a 3 mile bicycle ride down a sandy path bordering the sea; and my daily activities including things like working in my experimental garden (experimental because I have never tried to grow things in the tropics), doing yoga on the dock over the sea, kayaking and swimming, and making fresh hand made tamales and tortillas.  I have been in a pretty near heaven on Earth experience for me.

 

And now, I have to prepare for planes, traffic, city chaos, events, being with hundreds of people at a time vs. the 10 at most at a time I have been with, and planning, scheduling, and keeping a hundred things on track at once.  It is a shock to my system, and I find myself wanting to run and hide.  I am remembering what it was like coming down from Luna for the first time after over two years of not touching the ground.  BIG shock!

 

I take a break from writing to ask for water in my own cup, they refuse for sanitary reasons.  I say never mind thank you.  I don’t use disposables.  I know I am on a plane and I am trashing the planet by being on the plane, but I am doing my very best to mitigate the harm I cause.  I have never been able to come to peace with being on planes and travelling to try to get people to wake up and be more caring of the Earth and each other.  And I am laughing at myself internally right now although I am crying as I write this because I am back in the land of the absurd and can’t get water in my own cup because of sanitary reasons.  The tears are streaming down my face, and I can’t make them stop.  I want to go home to Belize.  I don’t want to be here.  I don’t want this life of travelling to be my life anymore.  I feel like I am 5 years old and scared and overwhelmed and upset and there is no one that can make it better.  I know this is ridiculous, but I can’t seem to make it stop.  So, I sit here on a plane seat, tears streaming down my face, nose running, and typing away on my computer.

 

I know I will get through this.  I know in the grand scheme of things, this matters not one iota.  I know that I will do my tour and give it everything I have.  I know I am not my thoughts.  I know all of this.  And still I am crying.

 

I think I will take a break and come back to writing when I can be a bit more grown up about it all.

 

Ok I am back.  Still hurting a little, but at least I can see now without all the tears blocking my view.   The irony of life is very rarely lost on me.  Sitting, writing about how very much I don’t want to be dealing with what I know is coming and in the midst of writing it, I experience the very same thing I am dreading.  I go back and forth between laughing and crying.  The people around me are not quite sure what to do with me.  The rules of polite and “normal” society don’t have places for people like me.  I am one step away form being the “crazy” person talking to myself.  Only difference is I am writing to myself—you will just happen to read my internal conversation with myself.  Not much different than the “crazy” people we see.  See, we are all crazy.  All of us pursuing “progress”, fitting in, standing out, doing what we believe in, or doing what we have been tricked or taught to believe in, preaching our messages from different pulpits some in a church, the other, blogs, endless blogs on computer screens around the world. 

 

Which leads me all the way back around to the beginning of this entry.  I think part of the reason why I go for long periods of time without writing is because I get so tired of all the chatter—mine included.  There are moments when I am out swimming at sea and the main sound is that of the waves rolling over the reef.  Moments when I am in my home mixing the fresh masa with chaya, potatoes, beans, onion, garlic, and carrots to make tamales, and listening to the birds singing outside as they sway from the palm branches and bouganvilla.  These are the moments that make my soul sing.

 

And I have to think in moments like that, what good is all our chatter?  Really.  How much good does it do?  How much better would our world be, how much better would we all be, if we all just shut up for a while?    If we turned off our tv’s and computers and phones and just listened to the birds and waves and breeze blowing through the trees?  And maybe, just like this crazy moment on the plane… maybe just maybe, we all need to stop and have a really good cry.  The kind that shakes the very foundation of our perceived reality.  The kind where we grieve how far we have gone down the wrong road, the wrong path, the wrong plane ride. 

 

I think most of us are so desensitized from the onslaught that we don’t feel what we have done.  We don’t feel what we have done to this beautiful, sacred, hurting place we call “planet Earth.”  What we have done to the beautiful, sacred, hurting beings we call “animals.”  What we have done to the beautiful, sacred, hurting beings we call “humans.”   What we ultimately have done to the beautiful, sacred, hurting being that is our self.  Or we do feel it deeply and act out our pain on the world as we try to “save” it.

 

So now that you are done reading my latest chatter, do yourself and the world a gift, turn off whatever device on which you are reading this, find a quiet, peaceful place (even if the only place is curled up in a corner of a closet) and go sit and be very quiet and let yourself feel deeply.  Let the tears flow, let the laughter flow, whatever comes through, but REALLY feel it.  And be with whatever comes through until all that remains is the sweet, peaceful silence.  Steep in that gift for a good, long while.  Breathe into it and FEEL that place deeply. 

 

As soon as I can, I am going to do the exact same thing.

 

Love,

 

julia

 

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Published in: on March 30, 2012 at 10:32 pm  Comments (55)  

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  1. dear Julia,

    your home is in your heart which is so big and wonderful.
    thanks for demonstrating vulnerability and empathy.
    big love always,

    Pia

  2. Julia, you are such an amazing beautiful writer and I just love your message. We appreciate visiting from Belize because the world needs to hear your message.I’m going to turn off my computer and listen to the birds right now! Hope to see you in the Bay Area during your visit somehow; if not, you are still in our hearts! xxoo, Susan & Luna (from Berkeley)

  3. z : ))

  4. Dear Julia,
    Beautiful, absolutely beautiful. Reading your words is like reading my own thoughts. I am much older than you (55) but I feel akin to you and your view of the world.
    Carry on, my dear, and do not despair. There are others like you, and we hear one another….
    Love,
    Jeanne

  5. Peace. Peace and love always, Butterfly. Be kind to yourself.

  6. Thanks for the honest ramblings. As usual, you help me to think about things, and that is the best gift. Time to turn off the computer and be with the ones I love:)

  7. I keep looking back
    A lifetime back
    Across the desert
    In a desert where no one can explain
    You tell me God is dancing in the rain

    I can hear the echo
    In a maze of words
    A lonely voice behind a door
    Can you hear me calling
    From a world away
    A lonely voice behind a door

    I keep looking back
    Traditions back
    Across the centuries
    In a century where no one can explain
    You tell me God is dancing in the rain

    I can hear the echo
    In a maze of words
    A lonely voice behind a door
    Can you hear me calling
    From a world away
    A lonely voice behind a door

    As I stare ahead
    A dream ahead
    Across the ocean
    Cross an ocean where there’s nothing to explain
    You tell me God is laughing in the rain

    I can hear the echo
    In a maze of words
    A lonely voice behind a door
    Can you hear me calling
    From a world away
    A lonely voice behind a door…

    stay strong Julia… : )

  8. Hey Julia, I checked out your blog because of your interview in The Sun magazine and found it pretty inspirational. Thank you for your humility and for speaking out.

  9. Thanks Scottie.

    So glad to know.

    Blessings,

    julia

  10. Thanks for letting me know the posts help you think about things breecandiloro.

  11. Thanks Jeanne for letting me know the blog resonates for you.

  12. Lots of Love to you and Luna, Susan!

    julia

  13. Thanks Pia for the feedback. i am so glad the blog post resonates for you.

    Blessings,

    julia

  14. It is so important to me that we are both here now.

  15. Dear Julia… Oh, you are such a sweet, sweet being. There’s a purple finch singing out in the yard over the noisy April wind and she reminds me of you. And I’ve never met you. Never read a word of you or by you until this month’s Sun Magazine arrived. Now I recognize you in the song of the finch. How cool is that?

    But you write: “…we grieve how far we have gone down the wrong road, the wrong path, the wrong plane ride” and I think, no, no, no, not the wrong road, wrong path, wrong plane ride, because otherwise we would not be right here, right now, and maybe it’s all the pain and all the hurt that is making this moment seem just so beautiful. Do you know? The grieving is real, I know. The heart so often feels broken and wounded. But then, other times, there is joy, uncaused, unfathomable, unreasonable, untouched, and it is holding the hand of innocence with one hand and the hand of vulnerability with the other and it feels so fresh that the truth of the matter is undeniable: our true heart has never been broken by any of this. It can hold it all. It overflows with compassion for ourselves and everyone and our sweet Earth and knows that all is well.

    I think my heart was with you when you were on that plane writing this piece last week, which is very strange, very strange indeed, because I didn’t even know who you were or where you were or that you were crying and laughing and writing and thirsty. But my heart was there nonetheless, beautiful soul. Time is just another figment of our imagination. I’ve already met you. We’re already old friends. We’re already dead. We’re just being born. You’re up in that tree, making peace with demons. Thank you for playing these cards you’ve been dealt. Each of us, as we play these cards we hold, play them for everyone, not only for ourselves. The pain you embrace arrives a little bit diminished when it lands with the next being. We are microbial and the painful energies we allow to flow through us emerge beloved and therefore less compelling.

    I say this as if I know, but, of course, I do not. I don’t know anything.

    Love
    Paul

  16. Thanks for sharing some of your story, Julia. Such writings always help this human being review what’s what both personally and globally. Agree with the need for unplugged quiet time, yet also allowing for integrative balance, as example: April 6 is last day of Rights of Mother Earth gathering / conference in Haskell. Some links:
    http://www.ienearth.org/
    http://www.livestream.com/rightsofmotherearth

    May your trails be happy!

  17. Hi Julia, I only heard of you recently and immediately bought Legacy of Luna which I just read in the last couple of days. Your connection to nature is like the clearest song in my heart. You are such an inspiration and I am so, so grateful that beings like you exist in the world.
    It is ironic that we use all this chatter to speak of to what is always beyond it. It reminds me of something I read once which said that Zen teachings are like a loud clap that breaks the silence but only to draw attention to it.
    So much love to you. <3
    Lucinda

  18. I thank YOU, you did all the work.
    Anyway, I don’t know if you are going to celebrate Easter; if you do, have a happy one !
    I’m leaving today for my familiar three-days-vacation in the mountain
    I already know that the bells in the hollow won’t let me sleep !

    Ciao
    Marcello

  19. Remembering the Rainbow Gathering traditional call, and shouting from across the globe, “We LOVE you!”

  20. Beautiful. Thanks Lucinda!

  21. Thanks Paul!

    Blessings,

    julia

  22. Hey, dear sister blessings to all creatuters great and small. Julia, I feel hope when I share this mildly public blog. I’m hoping to find a way around smoking, seems like everything needs to smoke(tobacco, cars, food, volcanos, beauty, compost, love, time, chemicals, desire, redundancy, pain and what not). The thing that gets me the most is attitude, cause we all, like it or not, have our own needs and beliefs. how we share them with the world is the question and the magic. So… my question is how may we find a way to extend these civic rights to the big trees and their friends? And is such an idea comprehendable?

  23. Jimmie,

    There are many organizations and lawyers working on extending the right to other than human life. Certain countries have even already passed laws o honor the intrinsic right of other than human life.

    Blessings,

    julia

  24. Julia-Stay in Belize and dont complain about flying to the USA to ask people for money. Some of us Americans can’t live in “paradise” and have a real life. You are burning thousands of gallons of fuel and you will not use (1) disposable cup. That would make me crazy too.
    -Must B. Nice

  25. Sitting at my desk, feeling the same way you felt on the plane…. I look around at my bookshelf, trying to find something, anything, but the screen, that will feed my soul.

    My eyes land on The Legacy of Luna and my heart opens. I google your name, find your blog, read your post and am reminded of what I already know–there’s nothing for it, just feel it!

    I love you. Thank you for Being.

    ~ marc ~

  26. Earth day is every day, how can everyday be April 22? Would that suggest the concept of honoring ALL beings, great and small, not to mention eachother, in the moment.

  27. Few days ago me and my friend Nunzio (to whom I gave a copy of your book of poems) went together to a local funfair here in Bergamo
    He had never been before in a so-called “room of the mirrors”.. you know, a room in which there are tens of looking-glasses that reflect a distorted image of the person.. fatness, thinness, height, etc
    To my overall surprise, my friend set out to move very-very carefully along this soft-lighting room..
    For a moment, I could not realise the reason, I thought it was because he didn’t want to break the glasses or because he wanted to be careful to where he was laying his own feet
    “Hey Nunzio, what’s the matter with you ? Did you see the Lord ? Did you see Gabriel the archangel ? ”
    But, in a short while, I understood.. he was afraid of the reflections sent by the mirrors..
    “Fuck you Marcello ! I can’t bear the reflections that I see in these mirrors.. they are so ugly !
    My image is so distorted, I just would like to beat the crap out of these looking-glasses.. if it was for me, I’d shatter all of these mirrors”
    I could hardly believe my ears.. he was bothered of the reflections seen onto those mirrors..
    “Nunzio, they are only reflections, it is not what you are but only what those mirrors are ‘sending’ to you.. it is not your body but only reflected images !”
    Nunzio began to calm down.. he began to understand that he could not shatter all the looking-glasses along his way only because he disliked the reflected images !
    Moreover, the owner of the premises would not have been too pleased for that !!
    “Nunzio you have only to go through these mirrors and reach the end of this room, realising that these reflections are only a joke.. When you reach the end of this room, you will have a purest image of your body, much better than before, before entering I mean.. in my view, these reflections are blessings in disguise ”
    Nunzio went through the mirrors.. no more scared but eager to explore, to see something new that he’d have not been able to see without those mirrors
    He was pleased with himself.. at the beginning he was angry with me for having compelled him to do that but, at the end of the tour, he felt as light as a feather

    Love
    Marcello

  28. Thanks so much Marc! ; )

  29. I don’t ever remember laughing and crying at the same time along with a writer on the same page. Just thinking of your wise, wonderful words elicits those emotions now, again–how funny; how sad! I remember, Julia, when you were up in that tree, and you were a continent away, and I didn’t know much about you or your cause, but still you were a beautiful inspiration. You still are! Amazing!

  30. Hi I am doing a young naturalist contest and I need information on you and I need it by Thursday the questions are: when and where we’re you born, where did you grow up, what was your childhood like, we’re you self taught or did you go to a university, what are you famous for, did you win an award, did you explore the world, why are you considered a naturalist, what was your famous quote, and something interesting about you please write back

    Love,
    Marett

  31. Hi Marett,
    Those are all questions you can find answers on the internet. Look me up on Wikipedia first as a lot of your questions are answered there.

    All the best on your project,

    julia

  32. Thank you ; )

  33. To add to your comments, Julia, in response to Jimmie, some references (from my having recently researched and written about this)

    Bolivia’s – “Living Well”
    http://www.occasionalplanet.org/2010/09/16/living-well-in-bolivia/

    Ecuador’s new Constitution
    http://therightsofnature.org/ecuador-rights/
    http://www.metafilter.com/75251/Ecuador-has-a-new-constitution

    The Constitution of the Bolivarian Republic of Venezuela
    http://axisoflogic.com/artman/publish/venconstitution.shtml

    The Pachamama Alliance
    http://www.pachamama.org/

    PS
    Was driving home and saw a truck with the name “Julia” on it, so took that as a message to check this blog : )

  34. Thanks Mankh!

  35. I must share this, I feel so enthusiastic..
    Everything happened yesterday
    I absolutely wanted to do something yesterday evening, so I began to think it over from the early morning.. all the day filled with that desire..
    All the day “busy” with that desire, I could not think of anything else all the time, always focused on it
    I was almost becoming mad, all that accumulation of desire for all the day..
    I was on the point of exploding.. yesterday evening, I was sure I‘d have blown up
    But I firmly wanted to dig into this attitude, I was so fed up of being jerked around in all directions by desires..
    Therefore, yesterday evening, instead of following that “attitude”, I sat on my (arm)chair, on my balcony, staring at the stars and the moon..
    There was me, the sunset, the clouds and some spare time to see through..
    I said to myself “it is not possible that a man has to spend his whole life moving from one slavery to another, from one dependence to another.. it is not life, it is an addicted life, not free, it is nothing more than a land of death”
    In a certain sense, I felt like a fox who sees a rabbit ahead of him, a few metres before him.. he has only to lengthen a foreleg to grab the prey
    But I wanted to go on..
    I wanted to find an answer that could lead me “beyond” that
    Then, suddenly, yesterday, a “lightning” inside of me.. a thought which crossed my mind..
    It came like a thunder, just one moment ..and then gone..
    Just a thought : “you will never satisfy it” (of course it was in Italian !!)
    Isn’t that amazing ? the ANSWER..
    Desire cannot be satisfied, in fact, either a desire is connected to the body or to an external situation, it makes no difference
    It is an imagination, a projection, a dream
    That’s why it cannot be satisfied, because it recharges every time..
    The fulfilment is in our mind, not in reality..
    So, my conclusion is: we are masters of what we are aware of.. what we are not aware of, controls us..
    I was looking forward to sharing this, I thought of your weblog, I reckon it is a good place wherein to share

    Love
    Marcello

  36. Lovely to hear how you are getting insights that are helping you Marcello!

    Blessings,

    julia

  37. =) hugs hun stay connected if the litle things get ignored they will grow i started collecting “my free”used cups to use at home did u know most restaurants won’t let u have your chopsticks guess those recipes are classified so the garden have you started cook ins yet ?hope u b home barneyv

  38. Hey Julia, check this out. Google “LIVING IN THE TRUTH OF THE PRESENT MOMENT” by D.R Butler (RAM).It will make your SOUL SING, as you say, wherever your karma finds you {In the city or on a plane, In a tree or on a train, talking to a stanger or deep in silence}. The way Belize nourishes you deeply, D.R. will open your HEART to this moment where you can’t deny that your Being exists in all it’s Fullness. If we find it dificult to be in certain places that nature does not florish, we can still bring our Awareness back to the Moment, back to the Heart, back to Love as Ram says and remember who we are once again regardless of outer circumstance. Which in turn allows us to be most effective in however we serve. See him on facebook also. And if you dare to go all the way home to the Belize in your Heart, check out his Course. THANKS FOR THE ONE OF A KIND YOU ARE. With Love Narayana.

  39. Oh, I forgot. Remember to check out the comments on Rams current monthly blog entry. You can ask him anything from your deepest space and he’ll respond. Even if it’s different from the topic he wrote about in the entry. Also on facebook. When someone consistently comes from the core of being present, the chatter is silence in motion and can touch us deeply and make things fresh again. Have a spontanious day. In tears or in cheers we keep movin on.

  40. Hi julia!

    Thank you for your candid writing… After months in India and now back on my quiet little island in the stream, i’ve been remiss to write a single blog post as well… you remind us that we are not alone in our tiny boat in the sea, bobbing to and fro!

    I am online for sometimes hours a day to support a lifestyle of living with the sea and her offspring, working at the computer to finance the need to be immersed in her beauty and rampant vitality! Some days i just want to stay in the ocean!

    When the harshness of humanity’s disconnect with nature become overwhelming to me, and i’m too upset to be of any use to anyone or anything, i typically go into the sea. When i cannot ease this suffering with immersion in beauty, beauty reminds me that she is infinite and eternal, and will take the bits and parts of our messes and turn them into something beautiful…

    There is something profoundly healing in feeling the depths of our disconnect with Nature – it grounds the disconnect, brings it full circle… Thank you for your willingness to feel, thank you for your openness and honesty and tears, they are beautiful…

    Now i am off to the ocean, sending you love from the sea,

    Joebaby
    http://www.DolphinWhisperers.org

  41. Thanks Joebaby for your beautiful wrting! : )

  42. love love love your vulnerability, your passion, your heart and your message. you are remarkable and a gift to the planet.

  43. “planes, traffic, city chaos, events…planning, scheduling, and keeping a hundred things on track at once”

    I’ve thought a lot recently about how separated we all are from anything that’s real; our very existence woven into (dependent on) a false economy and a power grid; placing us all either one failed financial system and/or one big solar flare from total loss of “life support”…

    You’ve spoken in the past about “disconnect”. And truly much of society is disconnected from the ability to provide for even its most basic needs apart from this “matrix” of false economy and power grid.

    Sounds as though you’ve found a life in Belize that’s a little more connected to the earth and sustainable – sustainable in the sense that it’s perhaps a more independent from this “matrix”. And I can understand how reentering here could be dreadful once you’ve been detached from it, and how you’d long to return to a more sane reality.

  44. Yesterday it was a sad day for Italy
    A violent earthquake (6.2 degree on Richter scale) shook the earth in the early morning (from 4 am on)
    Many people had to leave their houses because they were no more fit for use and few men died due to the collapse of walls and ceilings
    Four of them were workes at work at night in warehouses, the fifth was a Germany 37-year-old woman, who had a heart attack for the fear, and the sixth was a more than a hundred years old woman
    People injured were many, they speak of roughly 3.000 people injured in the collapse
    The most hit by the event were old churches, buildings, bell towers, farmsteads, which have been almost totally destroyed
    The epicenter was spotted in Emilia Romagna and the towns involved vary and range from Modena to Ferrara, from the hinterland to the sea coast
    Yet, the tremor spread over all the north of Italy and it was vey very well felt by everyone, me included
    The walls began to shake, along with windows, pictures fell down, etc..
    The fear was much, even the most brave people had to admit it was really scary
    To me, it was almost a challenge, I remained almost shocked all the day and I was afraid of new shakes, that they were bound to happen
    In these cases, the expert say that shakes go on for many days, the ground has to settle again and it takes time
    In short, I did not know how to face the night, I already went through earthquakes but this time it was a little bit.. “more”..
    So, yesterday night, the time had come, I had to go to bed.. I was sure I could not have slept for all the night, for fear of a new tremor..
    I spent the first hours by moving in the bed from one position to another, without resting at all..
    I did know how to get out of it..
    Suddenly I said to myself “Julia, take my hand, lie next to me please, only for a while, only to calm me down..”
    Immediately I remembered your video “Julia in the storm”.. immediately I remembered your words “.. you have to bend, to flow, to let you go with the wind.. this is how the storms of life work..”
    I understood.. the more we fight something, the more we empower it.. we have to welcome our demons because otherwise we give them as much force as the energy we use to fight them
    I tried to surrender.. to surrender..”.. whatever has to happen, I will let it happen..I can’t do anything, I can only let me go with the low of life”
    The result ? Some tremors happened, I could feel them clearly but I was not afraid anymore
    I could even sleep for some time, between a waking up and the other, one jerk and the other..
    But I was so satisfied, so glad for how I faced this thing, I wanted absolutely to share this..
    Well Julia, all my gratitude for helping me.. really.. it is the second time by now (the first occured on August 2011, when I remained alone for all the month of August) and the lesson your learned while staying in the storm is, FOR ME, still now, the most beautiful thing I could receive from you
    It helped me so much, so much
    Thank you again
    I hope that everyhting is okay with you and your life

    Love
    Marcello

  45. The weather was really bad during these days in Italy.. so rainy, cold and windy
    Temperature have plunged sharply and I often had to use my umbrella
    It happened to me that, along my way back home on foot, I met an old friend of mine
    He offered to accompany me for a while, up to a certain point.. I was glad for that, so we shared a part of the walk together..
    Suddenly something drew my attention.. there was a bird, completely soaked and chilly, resting under a small haven
    He was staring at me.. at the beginning, I thought it was my imagination, it was by chance but, after a few attempts of looking / non-looking, I was sure he was staring just at me..
    Probably, he wanted to communicate with me, he wanted to let me know something..
    So I tried to come close to him but he did some hops away from me..
    Then I turned around, but the bird still was looking at me, he approached again, he came closer..
    So, again, I tried to come up to him but his few hops away made me give up, he was alienating me from him
    I realised.. he was hungry, he needed help, he didn’t want to make friendship at all.. and maybe he was not so lucky until that moment
    My friend said to me “Come on Marcello, you can’t stop before every bird you meet on the road, we have to go on, he has his life and you have yours, so hurry up, let him be because we are late”
    But I wanted to do something..
    So I urged myself to give that bird something to eat.. I entered a bakery, I bought a piece of pizza, then I crumbled it up and I leaned it on the ground, waiting for his reaction
    The bird always kept a security distance with me but he started to eat.. he ate all I gave him, he must have been really hungry !
    After his meal, he flew away, he gathered all his might and went away..
    I was a little bit disappointed.. I wanted to make friendship with him but he could not trust me..
    Should I have blamed him for that ?
    Let’s say that I had some expectations..
    The friend of mine stood next to me in the meanwhile, watching everything I did
    He told me that I could not help all the birds who “need” because it was not a matter of mine
    Maybe he was right.. my friend also added “ it serves you right Marcello, what did you expect ? You are the idiot, your expectations makes you idiot ”
    Maybe he was right .. but, in spite of that, I was happy anyway
    It is strange but I was not hurt
    I could not do otherwise.. is it possible to abandon a living being who is asking for a hand ?
    I couldn’t.. I can’t..
    But my friend was incapable to understand it, he thought that I wanted to trap that bird, to cheat him
    It was not the truth..
    I don’t know whether I am going to see that bird again but we shared something and it was enough for me
    I know I’ll look up in the sky searching for that bird.. maybe he’ll be looking at me from the top of some roof, smiling at me..

    Love
    Marcello

  46. Thank You Deirdre. So glad my sharing speaks to you.

    Love,

    julia

  47. What you share is true Bill.

    i know our human family has to find a way to deeply reconnect with ourselves, each other, and the Earth.

    i am so very grateful, i have found a home in Belize that nurtures me so deeply.

    Love,

    julia

  48. Hi Marcello,

    i am so very glad that you found a way to go with the “storm” of the earthquake there!

    i am so happy you are safe, and i send prayers for those who were injured, lost homes, or lost their lives.

    Love,

    julia

  49. Hi Marcello,

    i am so glad you noticed the bird and cared for it.

    When we notice, honor, and care for the “smallest” among us, we show the greatness of who we are, and show others what greatness truly means. “Greatness”, true greatness, is within how well we care for all we are a part of– even the seemingly “insignificant” birds, or the hungry person on the corner, or the child who needs after school help, or the elder who needs help running errands.

    So happy you cared for this bird and that is shared so much with you.

    Thanks for sharing.

    Love,

    julia

  50. Oh wow I REALLY needed this post. Thank you girl

  51. Hi Jess!

    So glad it helped you!

    i know the irony of life is sometimes so silly, and yet we can not help when and how it hits us!

    Love and Blessings,

    julia

  52. Dear Julia,
    You articulate so well the thoughts, feelings, and “chatter” I too experience. I especially connect with your struggle between the cup and the plane. It reminded me, too, of a clip from Julie Delpy’s “Two Days in Paris” when she cries about the fact that she (as a woman) has to consume more toilet paper than a man. Such a simple concept, but it’s that ripple effect on our planet – the dilemma – that gnaws at my mind and spirit.
    Your description of EnLIGHTenment is beautiful.
    Thank you for sharing yourself, which is me, which his him and her and us.
    Monica (Palo Alto, CA)

  53. Dear Julia,

    We are close to the same age. Your example inspired me to pursue environmental activism thirteen years ago in my home state of Oregon. As the years have passed I have found myself living on the Oregon Coast surrounded by people who believe differently than I and forgetting what inspired my activism. I rarely go online except to pay bills. For some reason I found myself alone today and found your site. Thank you for reminding me who I am and what I too believe in. I will take a stronger stand for what I believe in from now on. Time to go outside!

    Peace,
    Michelle

  54. i am so glad Michelle! Thanks for letting me know and thanks so much for your commitment to caring and acting from your care!

    Love,

    julia

  55. i am so happy to know the post was positive for you Monica. Thanks for letting me know your thoughts and feelings!

    Love,

    julia


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