From Whining To Winning

I am on a train again. I had planned on going to NYC then on to Jamaica. Instead, after all of my well-made plans and efforts, I am on my way back to California. You know the way to make the God/desses laugh? Make plans.

My visiting Omega was a change in plans to begin with. I hadn’t planned on being there again until maybe September at the earliest. But even with all my bargains with the Universe, I found myself following a clear calling that defied every speck of rationale and heading to Omega before going on to Jamaica. It was supposed to be just a few days.

But instead, I was playing soccer, my foot stopped abruptly, and the rest of my leg did not. There was a pop and feeling like a rubber band snapped, followed by a searing hot pain shooting up and down my leg combined with feeling like I got hit really hard in my gut and wanting to throw up. Emergency room visit and x-ray showed no break (which I knew) and swelling and fluid which means ligament (which I also knew.) I hobbled out with a knee brace and crutches and some papers that basically said, “Something very wrong with knee. MRI needed to see exactly what.”

Only problem is MRI not deemed emergency, so I have to jump through a bunch of hoops and pay WAY more money if I stay in New York to deal with this because it is out of my “network” and therefore insurance will cover a lot less. And to top it off, the specialist recognized by my insurance has an opening in 3 WEEKS just to see me before then scheduling the MRI.

So, now, all of my well-made plans are fantastic material for tremendous giggles and belly laughs for all the Deities, and my crutching, hobbling self is on a train to NYC to fly back to San Francisco Bay Area. And my luggage had to be shipped back UPS because I can’t deal with luggage and myself.

But in the midst of all of this, I actually only had one day where my little inner girl needed to mope and whine and have a pitiful day. For the most part, I have just been really grateful for all the love and support I have received and for the fact that I even have insurance—even though it is a completely broken system. Thank my Framily (friend-family) support that I have insurance because I would be facing up to $10,000 costs (based on if I have to have surgery or not) without it!

One day, I just had a mini-melt down after being in pain for days and looking at having to reroute everything, and my lower lip protruded out pretty far, I whimpered and whined a bit, then got it out of my system and just got back to being grateful for how incredibly blessed I am.

So, in this moment, on the train, heading to NYC, I am filled with so much gratitude for all the love and support I experienced at Omega, for my new and wonderful friend Colin No Impact Man ( who is meeting me at Penn Station, and all the Framily in the Bay Area who are already calling and checking on me to make sure I have all the support I need.

Really, I have my moments where I wallow in my self-pity, but pretty quickly I snap out of it and remember how absolutely, amazingly blessed I am, and then look for how best to serve next. Even if I am on crutches and in a bit of pain, there is always a way to serve and a wealth of things to be thankful for.



Published in: on June 26, 2010 at 6:34 pm  Comments (14)  

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14 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Soccer Happens.


    Mathew Titus

    PS. Get well soon!

  2. “The true charm of pedestrianism does not lie in the walking, or in the scenery, but in the talking. The walking is good to time the movement of the tongue by, and to keep the blood and the brain stirred up and active; the scenery and the woodsy smells are good to bear in upon a man (or woman!) an unconscious and unobtrusive charm and solace to eye and soul and sense; but the supreme pleasure comes from the talk.” ~ Mark Twain

    If not walking, you are already talking happily. You are perseverance!

    *smiling at your many adventures*

  3. you were going to fly on to ca,pity my neice is in brooklyn,ny could have coordinated things from there. your network is in sf,ca lucky u i suspect talking is not lost on the train hope traveling goes well I agree would not get too far without healing time stateside. be a nice time to meet someone you can’t run away from. wink happy thoughts sbv
    ps better to laugh with than be laughed at…thanks for sharing

  4. oh, ow, ouch, I have been there. Personally it was an ACL and a little minicus that popped, fifteen years ago on a basketball court far from a city.

    Advice might be ok here…

    In your case, three weeks until you get an MRI may work to your benefit because the imgaging equipment works better (i am told) if they wait until some of the swelling subsides. In my own experience a doctor in the boonies with no MRI equipment looked at my knee a day after the injury, manipulated my knee—aka bent the heck out of it–OUTCH again, thankyou, told me to put my socks back on, and pronounced that he didn’t think there was anything seriously wrong with my knee.

    Three years later, with my run-of-the-mill teacher’s insurance, I found a much better doctor. I researched the very best sports-medicine surgeon in my area/network, a fellow who worked on the knees of professional and college basketball players. After he recommended surgery, he asked me if I had any questions, I told him that I didn’t want to offend him, but I did ask him how many of these surgeries he had performed. He was fine with the question, “about three thousand” he said. The point is there are doctors out there who work primarily on knees–and the knees of atheletes. So if it comes to surgery, ask around, don’t just settle for anybody working on your leg. Most people don’t realize you can actually see the team surgeon of your local professional and university basketball team. Their focus and therapy regimes are aimed at getting these players back onto the court and playing professionally, not just ambling around the block!

    All the best to you, Julia. I’m saying my meditations for your healing and prayers like the other people that care about you.

    Thankyou for your post, gratitude in the face of difficulties—you say it so well.

  5. Yep, if you want to make God or the Universe laugh out loud just make your plans. I hear you. Been there done that.

    Take care

  6. I’ve seen some of your videos on youtube regarding “Midwest yoga conference 2010”.. You’ve made me feel as fresh as a bay-child, excited and overwhelmed by your words and your fragrance, your stamina, your openness towards the world..
    I’d have liked to kiss and embrace you if I’d been there on the stage.. filled with enthusiasm.
    I’ve beeen literally moved to another dimension..
    You have the power to move attention, awareness from one point to another.
    Even for a while, I have had the glimpse of what heaven is.
    Greetings from Italy

  7. It’s amazing reading your mental processes. Excellent writing and content. Can’t wait for your next post.

  8. Hope you feel better soon.

  9. Hey Julia!!

    I’m sorry to hear about your knee I’ll send good vibes your way for a quick recovery.

    I just wanted to say I really enjoy your blog. I met you in D.C. at the Green Festival in 2004 and you were so kind to me it really meant a lot to me.

    Peace and Love

  10. Sending you love, joy, peace, patience, and healing.

    Many blessings as you recover…


  11. Thanks Everyone for the healing wishes! Jessica, so glad i was kind. : ) If i hadn’t have been, i would need to be sat down and given an attitude adjustment. : ) Love and Blessings,

  12. YAY!Way to own your own pooop,sweetie!
    lovin u!

  13. Really enjoy your posts here.I only recently learned of your enviromentalist activities. I saw the documentary Saving the Redwoods and was so impressed that I started surfing the net to learn more. You are really an amazing and inspiring girl. I’m changed by it all,in a good way.I hope it sticks.LOL!

  14. You shouldn’t need an MRI to diagnose ligament damage. A good orthopaedist will be able to physically manipulate your knee — it doesn’t hurt, trust me, I’m the veteran of several of these — and determine the extent to which your ligaments have ruptured. It’s not as horrible as people would make it out to be. You can recover very quickly from knee ligament repairs and replacements and get on with your days. Good luck!

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