It’s a new year. 2009 has passed. It is now early, wee hours of 2010. I rang in the New Year with a walk on the beach with a friend, many texts to and from friends and framily, laughter, fireworks, a potent full, blue moon, and rain (very rare for this part of the Island.)
For me, 2009 feels mostly like the year of “almost.” Almost manifested a home. Almost manifested a partner (although to be honest, I only very recently realized I wanted one–that is a very new experience for me.) Almost manifested clarity around how and what to do with my life now. Almost got a president we could have been proud of. Almost got an agreement around climate change that could have redirected our human family from our self-made destruction. It is very hard for me to be in “almost” for this long.
I have had many wonderful experiences this last year, and I am very grateful for each and every one of them. And at the same time, as I look back, the feeling I am left with about 2009 is… almost. It is the year that passed with almost nothing more than a sigh.
And, it is also, the year that ended with beautiful relationships and partnerships all around me (even as I write this, a couple in the condo above me are abviously fully enjoying the gifts of physical connection– also known as sex.)
I met a whole “pod” (the name given to ‘family’ here) on this trip to Maui. And almost all in the pod are beautiful, amazing examples of incredible relationships made possible through intentionality, love, purposefull-ness, and that spark that seems to be magic.
I recognize and acknowledge that I am both hopeless romantic and hopeless cynic. I dance between believing in magic and believing in nothing other than our collective stupidity. I am the dance of duality, and it feels like I could possibly be on the cusp of something more than that… something new… well, almost.
May 2010 be the year of moving beyond almost into the realm of actuality and groundedness. May this grounded reality also have tons of magic. I know it is asking for a lot… but what do I have to lose?
Happy New Year!