Broken Feet, Open Heart

A couple weeks ago, after a year of rehabilitative work, I chose to have reconstructive surgery on my feet. After close to three years of being in pain, I was ready to undergo surgery. My doctor is fabulous as are my community who have supported me on the journey of healing.

I literally had my bones broken with a saw and re-aligned. The first two days, I was in an incredible amount of pain. The pain meds did not work for me, so I eventually was in so much pain, that my body went into convulsions. Fun. Woohoo. Party On Pain.

I kept telling myself that I was squishing what would have been years of ongoing pain into a very short window. It helped me get through, and now I am on the other side. Now, I am in that fussy baby stage where I can’t seem to get comfortable or sleep. More fun. Woohoo.

Through it all, though, I am so profoundly grateful that I am surrounded by a circle of Framily (a name my friend told me for the people in our lives who are friend/family.) I have been held with such love and support, that there have been moments where I am challenged with just receiving.

My life has been quite a journey. There have been so many times where I have wanted (and in some cases tried) to not be here anymore. I am deeply sensitive, and it hurts an awful lot sometimes for me to be in this world. And yet, during times like what I am currently going through, I am humbled and reminded how blessed I am, and how very much I have to be grateful for.

I have the best Framily a person could hope for. And, I have a mother and grandmother who are keeping me in their prayers and prayer groups. I am held with so much love.

My prayer for my life is that at the end of my life in physical form, I have given and received love beyond what I know and understand to be possible. If I could pick 3 words that I am remembered by, it would be “Love in Action.”

My deepest love and gratitude to my Framily, Family, and all those who live love in action.

julia b

Published in: on July 13, 2009 at 4:18 am  Comments (32)