The Place of Ancient Wildness

From the well-kept, a little too well-manicured hills of Knowth, we headed to Tara. We arrived with the rolling, darkening clouds and wind sweeping across the green hills.

It was a very powerful experience even in the midst of some very strange twists. Just as Knowth was a powerful connection to an ancient past that I so deeply resonate with, in some ways, the hills of Tara were even more so for me.

When I was 14 years old, after one too many horribly painful experiences, often times associated with a huge lack of integrity within the Christian tradition I had been raised in, I decided I no longer believed in God. I was fed up with being told, “You just have to have faith” to my questions that were too pointed to have a clear answer, and I was fed up with a religion that is so male centric making me constantly feel like a “lesser than.” Then, after a bit of time, I realized that I was so angry at God, that you can’t be angry at something you don’t believe in, so I started on a search to find out what I felt called to believe in—what was Sacred to me versus the one God and one religion that I had been taught that felt so very wrong to me. I knew I felt called to acknowledge some Higher Power, but I had no clue what that might be like since I had never been exposed to anything but Christianity.

Early on in my explorations, I came across the Celtic Druidic traditions and people of Ireland. I found myself drawn to it both for its incredible artwork as well as its tradition more connected with Nature as Sacred. Then as I searched on, I found that the Catholics in their reign of terror wiped out most of the previous Sacred traditions of the Druids and then fused Catholicism with many of the important Sacred times and rituals of the Druids so as to more easily convert those who were now afraid of the Catholics. As time went on, and almost all of the Druidic traditions and leaders had been wiped out, newborn Irish folks only knew of some of the Celtic traditions, and with time, even much of that faded to be replaced completely by Catholic and then Protestant tradition thereby almost completely destroying the history and herstory of the Druids.

Interestingly, finding Tara was difficult. It seems that to this day, there is a very powerful force that wishes to keep the stories of these people and this time as hidden as possible. And even more interestingly, we found with this site and later sites, that anything having to do with the Goddess Maeve (Medbh in Gaelic) is even harder to find. Every fort, church, abbey, and castle that is on the historic register in Ireland has numerous signs leading you to them and are often very well preserved and cared for with numerous signs giving you the history of the place. And yet, with Tara and with later Pagan sites we went to (other than Brù Na Bròinne), we saw a real and marked difference with very little signs and very little of the whole history and herstory.

Tara was a place Sacred to the Druids–the spiritual leaders of ancient Ireland who practiced their tradition in honor of the Goddess Maeve (Medbh in Gaelic). The Celts believed that Tara was the Sacred dwelling place of the Gods and Godesses and that it was the passageway to the otherworld. It was also believed to be the final resting place of the fairy folk, the Tuatha de Danann, who were actual people of the Stone Age arrivals to the island.

The twists we uncovered in our journey though, were marked. First and foremost, the cultural visitor and information center for Tara is housed in a Protestant Church on Tara. Here, in a place that was the Sacred site for a people for thousands of years before Christ was ever recorded to have walked on Earth, the information you are able to obtain is in a building that represents the destruction of these people’s very culture and way of life. Also, I have realized that all these ancient sites are always marked by B.C.–before Christ– as if all that is recognized as important is Christ, and everything else’s importance is marked only in its realtion to the story of Christ whcih leaves out untold myriad other beliefs, cultures, and people. And furthermore, the information is so washed over, that unless you have done a lot of research like I did in high school, you will visit this place and leave without ever knowing the true story of this place or its profound cultural significance. The video they show inside and the bits of information in the shop do not even scratch the surface of how powerfully important this place is.

They touch briefly on the Druids rituals held here, and then on the ensuing reigns of Kings who saw this place as powerfully important. What they don’t tell you is how the Druids were a matriarchal society, where even though there were “Kings” chosen, they were chosen by a ritual, and only with the High-Priestess (as we would call them today) consent. The chosen-to-be Kings would have to go through a rights of passage to prove their worthiness and ability to lead. This rights of passage included similar aspects to rights of passage the world over with putting the body and mind through rigorous tests including fasting from food or water. Then, at the end of the process, there was a “sacrificing of a virgin.” Those who have done a lot of research believe that unlike the myths perpetuated by Christians, this was not a killing sacrifice, but rather one, where a virgin had sex with the soon to be King to represent that the King was hereby married to the Goddess first and foremost. The King could later marry, but this ritual was to remind him that his first marriage, and therefore first responsibility, was always to the Goddess so that there would always be a balance of power between the masculine and the feminine in decision making. Even after this practice was ultimately eliminated with the onset of Christianity, Kings continued to come to Tara because they knew it was a very powerful place. Although, they did not go through the ancient rituals, and they were part of a movement that disavowed the importance and rights of the Celts, they knew deep within them, how powerful this place was, so they continued to come here and practice rituals of their own to try to tap into this power and use it for their own purposes. You would not know any of this unless you studied a lot as I did. If you go to Tara today, you are shown how what looks like bumps in the ground and a couple of stones are ancient Sacred Sites, but they never even mention the names “Celts” or “Druids.” And the statues to Bishops and the Christian graves are much more cared for and highlighted then the decaying sites of the Druids.

To add insult to injury, the M3 motor highway was designated to go right through this Sacred site! Of course, they would never do this to an important church or conqueror’s castle, but as is sadly the case in the US and so much of the rest of the world, because this is a site Sacred to those who practice Earth-based traditions, it holds little significance to those in power. The motorway was halted because another ancient site was uncovered in the digging, but the fate of Tara still hangs in the balance as the motives for sprawl still seem to outweigh the need for preservation of this vastly important heritage site.

Thank You John Quigley for making sure that Tara ended up on my trip to Ireland! For those of you who do not know, John Quigley is a dear friend of mine as well as an incredible activist and artist (check out www.spectralq.com to learn more about his work.) One day on a windy walk in a park, John Q told me that no matter what I had to see the hills of Tara when I told him that I was going to Ireland. He couldn’t have been more right.

As I walked the hills of Tara, the wind whipped at me and Milena. It was calling to us, to open ourselves up to the Mystical, the Magical, the ancient, ancient past that connects us beyond what we know into the timelessness of the Cosmos itself. What had been a wonderful and incredible experience at Knowth was just a doorway into this next piece of the journey. Here, I began to feel even more connected to myself—that part of me that for so long has felt denied in the world in which I was raised.

As we left the main hill of Tara, I told Milena I wanted to go to Ràth Maeve (there had been, of course, only one sign pointing the way) which we were told was only 5 minutes drive from where we were. And of course, there was no mention of Maeve being the most powerful Goddess of this time who was later changed by Christians into being a human Queen. We followed in the direction of the one sign and headed of down the road. After crossing a couple intersections, I knew we had gone too far without ever seeing another sign to let us know the exact place of Ràth Maeve. We saw two young girls about 12 and 14, and stopped to ask them if they knew where Ràth Maeve was. The eldest told us she was not from here, but that this was their holiday home, but she ran off to ask her Mom. The mother came out of the house to tell us that indeed we had passed the place, and that there were no markers of any kind and nothing really to see. She gave us directions best she could, and we retraced our drive. We stopped in two different places knowing by the description given to us by the woman that one of them had to be the Hill of Maeve. I said prayers of gratitude and honor at each and then we were on our way.

After all I have experienced in the United States, I should not have been surprised by how effectively the Sacred sites and stories honoring the Goddess and Nature-based Spirituality have been so decimated, and yet, I realized I had expected something different from here. Sadly, the history of the march of Christianity seems to be the same the world over.

As we left Tara for the next experience in our journey, I was overcome by a deep and profound silence. I felt as if a part of myself had been left behind to pay homage to this powerful and Sacred place. And at the same time, the winds had opened me, inviting me to take some of this place with me. And so I did. I share it now with you through words that I hope and pray somehow convey the beauty, the power, and the Sacredness that is Tara. And I also pray that the M3 motorway will redirect far away, so that this place will remain without any further destruction for thousands more years.

There is a petition you can sign urging the protection of Tara. Go to http://www.savetarapetition.net
(Petition to Request the UN Intervene to Protect the Hill of Tara) and
http://www.savetara.com/

To the Mystery and the Magic,

Love, Gratitude, and Prayers,

julia

The Ancient Roots

Hello Friends,

I write this from a Bed and Breakfast in Doolin, County Clare, Ireland.

Oh, wow. I feel mostly at a loss for words. I have said for many years now that I feel the experiences that are the most powerful and profound often have no words to describe them. And yet, I try. Although my words feel pitiful and partially unworthy to the absolutely humbling experience of my last two days trek.

Milena and I spent many hours in County Meath visiting Brù Na Bòinne and Tara. For this post, I will just write of Brù Na Bòinne because there is so much to tell of each experience in an effort to do it some semblance of justice that to even touch on one is a huge process for me.

Brù Na Bòinne is a vast Neolithic site that is estimated to be a thousand years older than Stonehenge. This area houses the tombs (Cairns) of what were apparently perceived very important people from this time well over 5,000 years ago, now called Newgrange, Knowth, and Dowth. To put it in ancient time perspective, these tombs predate the great pyramids of Egypt by approximately 6 centuries.

The people who erected these temples gathered the stones from up to 70 kilometers away. What is amazing is to realize that some of these stones weigh over 20 tonnes. Over 200,000 tonnes of rock, stone, and Earth went into building Newgrange alone and Knowth is even bigger! And remember, this was built over 5,000 years ago! This was a time before horse and wagon, so it is believed that the people of this time harnessed the power of water both with the Sea and River Boyne.

Because Newgrange and Dowth have windows directly aligned with the Winter and Summer Solstice and because of other signs of found artifacts, it is known that these places were also part of very important rituals for the people of this time. Unfortunately, Knowth was most likely intentionally destroyed by early Christians (by a pit they dug internally all the way around the inside walls of the Cairn causing it to collapse) so that it has never been clear if it is aligned with the Equinoxes, although it makes sense to assume that it was because it is the only Cairn of the three that has two passageways in the direction of the Equinox passings, and the other two Cairns have only one passageway and are aligned to the Solstices with Newgrange aligned with the Winter Solstice and Dowth aligned with the Summer.

Out of the three, Milena and I chose to go to Knowth as Newgrange was over-touristed and Dowth can only be viewed from a road as it is closed to visitors. I often struggle inside with the acts of uncovering Sacred sites like tombs and graveyards. For some reason though, I felt powerfully called to this one partially because there is no longer a direct link of these tombs with any people alive today–unlike many of the Native American Sacred Sites that have been dug up and then put on display even as the Native People who are their descendants have asked for their relatives remains and belongings to be returned to them and been refused. But here, in Ireland, the connection between the people who built and used these tombs as Sacred sites and burial grounds and any living people today has been so thoroughly decimated that it is not even clear if any of the people from that time survived the following invasions for there to even be a link to any people alive today. And somehow, these sites are sadly the only things that keep some aspect of these probably completely extinct people alive.

So for me to walk among these sites and see the ancient carvings and see the photographs of the stone basin and flint ceremonial mask (photographs because the mask was removed to the National Museum of Ireland in Dublin and the basin because it still resides deep within the tomb not accessible to the public) was to connect to a past and a time that I have felt powerfully drawn to since I first learned of it over 20 years ago.

It was incredible for me to walk among these temples knowing that they were built in a time and by people who honored Nature as Sacred, who worshiped the Creation as the Creator, who practiced what we now call Pagan traditions. It was also heartbreaking to see firsthand how effectively this tradition and this way of life was almost completely destroyed. I know that our beautiful, Sacred Planetary home would be so much better cared for and honored if the Christians/Catholics had not been living out what is now one of their religious theme songs of, “Onward Christian soldiers, marching as to war, with the cross of Jesus, going on before…” I am not saying that all Christian/Catholics are bad–not at all (most of my blood relatives are practicing actually, and I know many wonderful people who are as well), and I am oh so very grateful that there is a growing movement of people within these religions that see Caring for Creation as part of God’s mandate. And at the same time, these very traditions are based on the denying of the Divine Feminine and their holy days are based on stealing from the old ways of honoring the cycles and rhythms of Nature (for example Spring Equinox supplanted by Easter and Winter Solstice supplanted by Christmas.) I know it would be beautiful if all religions and faith-based traditions could live in peace, but unfortunately there is a legacy that still continues to this day where the main religions that came from the same lineage–that of Christianity/Catholicism, Islam, and Judaism seem to be steeped in and perpetuated through oppression, violence, destroying people’s connection to place and their own right to practice what is Sacred to them in their own way. So, I struggle in moments like these wishing that these traditions never existed, and yet knowing that I want to live in a world where all people are allowed the opportunity to practice what feels Sacred to them as long as it is not based on the oppression of or violence to others or to the Divine Sacred of the Natural world.

And being here, being touched so deeply, I am even further resolved to continue to live my life honoring the Divine Sacred of Nature and the Divine Feminine so as to do what I can to hold space for this that has been so long oppressed and destroyed. And I hold in my heart this connection to this place knowing that somewhere in my past, even though it was a very long time ago, I have ancestors who honored and worshiped Creation as Creator and held the Divine Feminine as equally important and powerful as the Divine Masculine.

Love from the Wilds of Ireland,
julia

Dublin, Ireland

I have wanted to come to Ireland ever since I was in high school. I went through a powerful time when I knew that I no longer believed in the Christian tradition that I had been raised in, yet I longed for something Sacred to relate to. In my searches, I came across the Celtic and Druidic traditions of Ireland. I immediately felt a kinship. These were a people who recognized and worshiped the Sacred in the trees, the land, and the Solstices and Equinoxes. This was a tradition that saw the Sacred as an integral part of the Earth and Sun and Moon and Stars. Even the art and symbolgy seemed to speak to some long lost part of my soul. I uncovered the term “Anam Cara” which loosely translates to “Soul Friend Recognition,” which beautifully described the connection I had with certain people that seemed to defy description.

Of course, this is not to say that I believe in everything that I read and learned about these traditions, but rather that it felt closer to my soul’s home than the beliefs I had been raised with. I had been taught, “Worship the Creator NOT the Creation.” And yet, something inside of me had always known that there is absolutely no separation between the Creator and the Creation. Even in the Bible, the book that I had been raised reading said, “In the beginning there was darkness and void,” and then God which was that darkness and void created from itself life as we know it, which means that not only is Creation a gift FROM God, it is a gift OF Godself.

So coming across a Spiritual tradition that honored the Sacred in the natural world spoke to the very depths of me.

So after all these years, I find myself in this land that has called to me for so long.

This is not say that I have felt particularly called to Dublin, mind you, but this is where I landed–and the place from which I start my journey.

Tonight happened to be fabulous, though. We (being my Italian friend Milena and I) came across a wonderful restaurant called, “The Farm” serving predominantly locally and organic sourced ingredients. It being Ireland, most of the menu was meat and dairy based. Yet, their few vegan options were absolutely, mouth-wateringly delicious. Then we headed to a pub called “Cobblestone” that is listed in The Lonely Planet Guide to Ireland as an authentic pub to hear traditional Irish music. And indeed it was.

Of course, the story would not be complete without a crazy addition because I seem to always attract them. We grab our beers and head as close to the music as we can get considering how packed the pub is. And then, the absolutely most drunk guy in the bar gravitates to us as if pulled by a magnet of inescapable force. Slurring wonderfully, as only a completely innebriated Irish man can do, he asked us where we are from. I said, I am from the US and Milena is from Italy. He asked me, “Where in the US?” I told him from everywhere, but mostly California. And wouldn’t you know it, the most drunk man in the whole bar, had been to California. And not only had he been to California, but he had been to Humboldt County and to Garberville!!!!

He proceeds to go on telling stories of being busted for growing Marijuana. And then to top it off, he screws his face up into this distorted look and yells at the top of his lungs, “F*%!K George Bush!!!!!” The whole bar stops and turns looking at us. I wanted to yell out, “But we aren’t with this guy!” But, of course, nobody gave a damn, they just wanted him to shut up so they could hear the great Irish music that was being played in the corner. And so did I for that matter. I used the opportunity to tell the very drunk man that it was lovely talking to him, but I now wanted to listen to the music.

And so we did. The music was absolutely fantastic. And the drunk man tried to engage a couple more times in conversation, but somehow, I managed to get him to leave us alone so we could enjoy the music.

And then, the topper, was another man near us wearing a fabulous t-shirt that read, “I RECYCLE. I wore this shirt yesterday” with a big recycling symbol in the middle. I cracked up laughing and had a lovely conversation with this man who was sober enough to carry on a real conversation. Then, Miwe and I listened to one last song before we danced our way out of the pub and to the Public Transportation Train that took us part of the way back to the hotel, and we laughed and stumbled the rest of the way back.

And now, I sit in the hotel room reminiscing about a perfect evening as I get ready to prepare for bed and another day headed to the Sacred Hills of Tara.

Goodnight from the experience that is Ireland.

Love,

julia

From Duck Feet to Flip Flops to Wings

Dr. says I can finally be rid of the funny post-op duck feet shoes I have been wearing, and get back to regular shoes! Yay! I am so excited to be able to retrain my feet to walk in regular shoes again. I am not allowed to spend too much time in bare feet or my feet will go crooked again, but I am allowed a special pair of flip-flops, so I am a happy girl.

I am on a focused pace to get ready for two months of travel. I leave on Monday to head to Ireland, then Italy, then New York, the Cincinnati, Ohio all taking me up to the end of October. I have regained my wings! Off on journeys, adventures, and hopefully to do some good for some communities while I am at it!

I am just coming through two weeks of brutal virus that kicked my butt big-time, so I am praying that it is done with me, so I can be healthy for these next two months of full schedule.

I am feeling really ready to be out in the world again. My experience with Harmony festival, Mystic Garden Party, and the Farm-to-Table Benefit has me feeling re-energized to be re-emerging from this latest round of cocoon. I truly enjoy the place of feeling like I am somehow contributing to this world of which I am a part. I often times come up against the wall of feeling like I am not making the difference I really want to be making, but regardless of the outcomes, I know that Julia without the opportunity to be in service is like a river dammed.

So, as my duck feet prepare for shoes and my shoes prepare for wings, I ask the Universe to use me in service with love, joy, purpose, passion, and peace.

Love,

julia

Broken Feet, Open Heart

A couple weeks ago, after a year of rehabilitative work, I chose to have reconstructive surgery on my feet. After close to three years of being in pain, I was ready to undergo surgery. My doctor is fabulous as are my community who have supported me on the journey of healing.

I literally had my bones broken with a saw and re-aligned. The first two days, I was in an incredible amount of pain. The pain meds did not work for me, so I eventually was in so much pain, that my body went into convulsions. Fun. Woohoo. Party On Pain.

I kept telling myself that I was squishing what would have been years of ongoing pain into a very short window. It helped me get through, and now I am on the other side. Now, I am in that fussy baby stage where I can’t seem to get comfortable or sleep. More fun. Woohoo.

Through it all, though, I am so profoundly grateful that I am surrounded by a circle of Framily (a name my friend told me for the people in our lives who are friend/family.) I have been held with such love and support, that there have been moments where I am challenged with just receiving.

My life has been quite a journey. There have been so many times where I have wanted (and in some cases tried) to not be here anymore. I am deeply sensitive, and it hurts an awful lot sometimes for me to be in this world. And yet, during times like what I am currently going through, I am humbled and reminded how blessed I am, and how very much I have to be grateful for.

I have the best Framily a person could hope for. And, I have a mother and grandmother who are keeping me in their prayers and prayer groups. I am held with so much love.

My prayer for my life is that at the end of my life in physical form, I have given and received love beyond what I know and understand to be possible. If I could pick 3 words that I am remembered by, it would be “Love in Action.”

My deepest love and gratitude to my Framily, Family, and all those who live love in action.

julia b

Mexico and No Swine Flu or Drug Wars

Quiet moments
steal out from under me
on the wings of chirping birds
and crashing waves.

How is it that this place,
so alive with sound,
is yet so filled with peace.

I machete the coconut,
drinking the Divine liquid
elixer hidden inside.
Splitting it open,
i scoop out
some young, tender coco-meat for me,
leaving plenty for the myriad of birds
hiding in the bushes
awaiting their turn–
Golden-Breasted, Metallic Blue and Green, On-Fire Orange–
the list is endless.

i add raw, organic agave and water to the coco-meat,
and puree it all together,
adding vanilla and a hint of cinnamon
until it is custard consistency.

Scoop into a glass container
and drizzle with agave and cinnamon on top
and place in refrigerator.

Time to serve guests, i layer the custard
with bananas and mangoes
and spoon into individual bowls.

i love the moment of silence while mouths are filled
followed by the widening of eyes and smiles
and the groaning, “mmmmmmmmm, delicious!”

i am meant to be in a place like this.
i thrive here.
And so does all the life around me.

i can overlook the mosquito war zone of my body,
when victory has such sweet rewards.

Quiet moments and crashing waves dance together
with hot sun and cool breeze,
tart limone and pungent papaya,
sweet cocos and spicy chiles…
this land of duality
is the perfect accompaniment
to my life’s path.

i am meant to be in a place like this.
i thrive here.
And so does all the life around me.

julia butterfly hill June 2009

To see where i stayed:
http://www.casavivatroncones.com/

and where i am moving:
http://www.playaviva.com/

A Poem Written For A Dear Friend

Hi All,

This is a poem that came through me inspired by and written for a very dear friend of mine. I feel like some of you may like it too, so i share it with you as well.

Love,

jb

Sometimes
When I think of you
I am filled with so much love
That my heart aches and
Splits into a million pieces
Of humble gratitude

Tour

Hi Friends,

I was in the wet and cold of Milwaukee, Wisconson. I had a full and lovely day beginning with a tour and lunch with the wonderful folks at the Urban Ecology Center (www.urbanecologycenter.org). I so enjoyed the visit partly because the people were funny and very interesting. But also, they are an absolutely fantastic model of what is possible when we see caring for our Planet and caring for our Human Communities as inextricably linked.

They are housed in a really cool building filled and built with a majority of reused resources. From the office furniture to most of the walls, floors, tables, etc… almost all of it was saved from going to the landfil by taking what was no longer wanted by a school, business, or construction site and giving it new life in their building. And it is a building that is beautiful, homey, and full of exploration, fun, and wonder. Plus, they serve all the local schools within a two mile radius and have now begun to co-create branches within other parts of Milwaukee.

You have to check them out. They are super-cool!

Next was a drive a few hours away to Steven’s Point and a college presentation there as well.

From Milwaukee, I went to Wheaton College and had a great classroom conversation and larger event open to the whole campus and community. The professor who facilitated the conversation teaches a course on environmental philosophy. It was cool to see students really digging into the ethics of ecological stewardship in the challenges of living in today’s world.

From Wheaton College, I headed to Boulder, Colorado. This event was held outside in beautiful weather. Yippeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!! : ) The next day, i went to Denver to visit The Alliance Center which is a super cool, sustainably renovated warehouse that is the home for numerous organizations working for a sustainable Colorado. Check them out on www.allianceforcolorado.org. Later in the day, headed back to Boulder to do a fundraiser for the Alliance.

And now, back in the Bay for a bit. It is sunny and cold! Brrrrrrr.

I was supposed to be heading to Mexico to co-lead a retreat, but the swine-flu has changed all of that. Another indicator that we should not be mass-producing animals for food!!!! Go Joyfully Vegan! Yeah!!!

That’s the update for now.

Love,

jb

An Interview I Did Recently

Hi All,

Here is an interview I did recently with a man named Tom Callos who does really cool stuff with getting the martial arts community involved in service based projects. The book I reference in the interview is called Lose Your Mother: A Journey Along The Altlantic Slave Route by Saidiya Hartman.

The project of the Engage Network–Off The Mat Into The World is in partnership with the wonderfully gifted Yoga instructor, Seane Corn.

Hope you enjoy.

Love,

Julia

On Line Radio Show

Hi All,
I am doing an interview on Voice America which is an online radio show.

Here is the information in case you want to tune in, listen, and call in.

Shift in Action with Stephen Dinan Tuesday, March 31st, 9 AM PT on VoiceAmerica

Log on to Listen:
http://va.radiopilot.net

Questions? Comments?
Call: 1-866-472-5788

Thanks and Love,
julia