“I Am… Graffiti”

“I Am… Graffiti”

 

I write my memoirs

on the cracked

chipped

pealing walls

of your forgetfulness

your…

wish these places didn’t exist

your…

if I pretend they don’t exist

maybe they will

disappear

your…

if we only made these places

“better”

aka gentrification

aka pushing people out of the places

they call…

HOME.

I write my memoirs

on the walls and doors

you built…

to push me out…

to hold me down…

to keep me in my…

“place.”

Because you think

I belong in this

“place”

lower than you.

Because years upon years

and generations upon generations

of oppression, colonialism,

imperialism, and materialism

and a host of other “isms”

have tricked you

into believing

stereotypes and hierarchy

and…

you worked hard to get where you are…

and I

the stereotype

only want to live off welfare

and don’t want to work hard

and would be in a different place

if I truly wanted, worked hard,

and just visualized

“The Secret”

into my reality.

Because if I just visualized “The Secret” enough

then fancy cars and fancy houses

would be mine.

And it is only my laziness

and lack of positive thinking

and my “karma”

that keeps me here

writing my memoirs

on the cracked, chipped,

peeling walls

of your forgetfulness…

of your privilege…

of your inherited and internalized

racism.

Hoping against hope

that despite the odds,

despite the history that says,

”Light skin equals privilege”

that somehow

the colored paint

that spews forth from this can

into sometimes brilliant

sometimes pathetic

markings, scribbles, art, brilliant possibilities

and everything in between…

left as memoirs

on the cracked, chipped,

peeling walls

of your chosen forgetfulness…

that somehow

I will leave my mark…

refusing to be silenced

in a world that wishes to forget.

 

cjulia butterfly hill  August 2013

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Published in: on September 18, 2013 at 5:55 am  Comments (5)  

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5 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. sounds like home to me

  2. Speechless.

    Thanks, Julia

  3. It makes me feel so baffled to read your (poetry) words
    I am used to facing and listening to ordinary desires such as succes, power, money, family, etc
    I have never heard of something close to “leaving one’s own fooprint in the world”, “change the world”, “imprint a huge impact in the world”..
    It is not so ordinary, rather it appears to me extremely rare
    Well, every one of us cannot hide to have personal wishes or desires to actualise
    For my part, I’d fancy, with my imagination, a beautiful farm, close to the countryside and woods, with a few animals and trees
    Savouring life with the good company of an intelligent and sensitive woman, possibily with a child (if love and passion dictates)
    A very ordinary dimension, after all
    But I also realise that a dream is only a dream and nothing more, even though it has deep roots
    We cannot force or impose our dreams on reality, we are always bound to fight, to quarrel, to be frustrated and feel depressed
    There is the flow of life, which is absolute.. we cannot know in advance whether behind that dream there is going to be hell or heaven, if we are called to enjoy happiness or to engage sorrow
    Anyway, if we are brave enough to follow that flow, there is always relaxation and a sense of “no self” left behind
    In fact, there is no opposition, no disharmony, no conflict, we simply let our “selves” be guided by the universe and by our inner voice and intuition (which is supreme as well)
    What comes about to us, in the everyday course, is simply .. “life”
    No label, no judge, they are unnecessary after all
    Life remains a mystery, no matter how hard we try to understand it or how different it may look like at first glance, with respect to other paths of other people
    I say “at first glance” because we don’t have a keen vision of life.. we cannot see through the huge “web” which connects and separates people, situation, events, animals, families, etc.
    We don’t know anything of the spiral-shape flow of life that touches us through lessons..
    We don’t know our future and we can’t even try to figure out next great-mystery’s move in our lives.. the more we try, the more we remain in mental disarray, it is the price we must pay for not letting ourselves be driven by the flow of life
    And it is very good thing not to know anything of the future, else we’d rest on ours laurels, bragging ourselves all the time or, on the contrary, we’d rather die than to deal with all those woes..
    Anyway Julia, I like your style, it is a little bit odd ..but truly and attractive

    Best things,

  4. perhaps its beyond,
    perhaps I dont grasp,
    but it feels like,
    blue :

    “all you need is love, love,
    love is all you need, ..love is all you need,..love is all you need..”

  5. Inspired by a heavy shower which has poured tons of waters on the city over recent hours, I’ve written some basic rules that I want to follow from now on
    I’d like to share them; in the end, they are born from my awareness:

    -do not attend to others’ lives, everyone is born with a certain consciousness and with a destiny sets on it; you’re not in charge of it because it does not concern you, it is a matter between a person and the existence only

    -remember that you are the only source of your happiness, you cannot steal it or demand/claim it from someone else

    -there is too much chaos around us to be able to direct and control our lives, so let you go and let yourself be carried away by the flow of life, which moves and join the whole life; give free reign to whom has put you on this earth

    -do not feed the negativity of petty tyrants, that drains energy unnecessarily

    -your negative feelings towards the others derive from the hustle/fear associated with the false need to avoid the unknown, which inevitably reveals it by lessons

    Ciao ciao, all the best


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