Diamonds Hidden in The Dirt

 

Sometimes life is difficult. 

Some lessons have to be learned the hard way. 

But this is only sometimes… not all the time.

Because of my experiences in my childhood,

and repeated throughout my life,

I realized I had created these as the lenses of the glasses that I see through—

dooming me to this being the only way life could be lived.

 

Because of my experiences growing up,

I created the belief, “I don’t need you.”

Funny thing…

it took someone else being a powerful stand

for me to get this insight. 

Without their intercession,

I never would have realized that I held this as a hidden truth

underneath my work towards healthy relationships

with the Earth, with each other, and all beings. 

 

As much work as I have done to heal

my experiences of trauma with my past,

 I find that my past gets sneaky and puts on different masks

to disguise the fact

that it is still my past

pretending to be something new…

and oh so important.

 

My work is to heal and transform what I can

and to embrace and accept

those parts of my past that I cannot change—the ones that

bring me my gifts—

even as they also bring the parts of me that set me up

for struggle, suffering, and set-backs. 

 

“Great Mystery (insert whatever name you choose here that resonates with your connection to something greater than yourself)

 grant me the courage to change the things I can.

The serenity to accept the things I cannot change.

And the wisdom to know the difference.”

 

How true this is no matter our religious or non-religious beliefs.

 

I work hard

to be the very best me that I can be.

Oftentimes…

I am too hard…

on myself and others—

my knee jerk reaction to growing up in the profound hypocricy

of Christian religion.    

 

The gift hidden in this part of my past…

I live my life to a level of excellence that holds me to a higher

commitment of being…

even when I am tired, frustrated, cynical, angry, and hurt.

 

I always say, “Love is the fiercest task master/mistress I have ever had. 

Love holds me accountable to be bigger than my whining, my reasons,

and in all ways bigger than I know myself to be.”

 

Every time I think I am at peace with my past,

It shows up wearing a sneaky mask—

tricking and tripping me.

 

My work is to find the courage to change the things I can.

The serenity to accept the things I cannot.

And the wisdom to know the difference.

 

 

May we all find the courage to heal and transform the parts of our past that no longer serve us.  The serenity, grace, and compassion to accept the things that are just part of who we are—even when they challenge us.  And the wisdom to know the difference. 

 

Love,

 

julia butterfly hill

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Published in: on August 14, 2013 at 11:24 pm  Comments (13)  

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13 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. The Serenity. Prayer and what’s known as the Resentment has kept me happy, healthy, not so wealthy and wise for the last 31years. It has reconnected me with the spirit of the most important person in my life my maternal grandmother Maud. And her lesson was No Bull Shit.

  2. Beautiful words, Julia! I appreciate your transparency and am inspired to step up to the task of transforming the world (at least the parts that I interact with) with love and compassionate action.

  3. I love this: “Love holds me accountable…” It is because of love we have our strength, and it is because of love that we are called to be strong.

    Thank you so much, Julia, for always sharing both your shadows and your light, which is all the more brilliant for your struggles.

  4. Correction.. The Serenity prayer and the Resentment prayer.

  5. I’m blown away, every word stirs and resonates, with truth and courage. you are so beautiful

  6. Thanks, Julia. Like it or not, we still think alike :-) Moments before I came to your posting (shared by Ann Hill on FB), I had quoted The Serenity Prayer for someone who had asked how to accomplish what I had said:
    “Life is to be touched, not strangled.”
    Maybe the apple didn’t fall too far from the tree. :-)

  7. =) if god (general overall diety) meant for us to do it alone we would be alone after all the bible says it was not good for man to be alone thus eve and created for fellowship with god =) hope your day is blessed with happy thoughts thought of you today while shopping at everman’s recently =)

  8. The expression “Great Mystery” has been used for millennia by american indians to point out that the whole path we have to walk – in our life – is unknown and the reason why a lot of events and situations happen remains a mystery
    Thus, there is no explanation reachable with the mind, it cannot be found because it belongs to another realm, to the mysteries of creation
    And, for each one of us, the path is different because it depends on everyone’s level of awareness, it is designed and worked out to suit our capabilities and to answer/ satisfy our real needs, in order to remove all of our heart’s impurities and promote growth and freedom
    A route that cannot be compared, even though it seems difficult to accept that certain things only seem to happen to us, it cannot be compared to someone else’s one
    All that I can say, as far as I am concerned, is that truth cannot be discovered directly: we have to pass through false
    If we were born on a planet where there was only beauty, honesty, wisdom, intelligence, respect for environment, etc. we would not be able to touch and taste truth.. we’d simply feel good, very good, in paradise without being able to tell true from false
    So, false is necessary, we have to go through it, through ambition, hate, negative feelings, ego, greed, loneliness, wrong habits, attachments, idiotic religions, etc.
    Slowly slowly, light grows in us and we can gain, thereby, self-confidence and freedom and happiness
    The path is from the darkness to the light, from the chaos to the order of the universe
    Cannot be otherwise because we can start only from where we are.. and we can only know what we are – nothing more – and we can do that only by accepting us just the way we are
    So, lessons are necessary.. but it is not something on which to think through too intensely
    They will lead us to the place they were supposed to lead us, so we’d better let us go with the flow and enjoy whatever we are and whereever we are
    Man is so damned complex.. but, for this reason, in his potential, there is hidden the beauty of the universe.. which is waiting for us.. patiently..

    Ciao ciao and happy Feast of the Assumption !!

  9. Well said as usual Julia ~

    As a famous soap once stated…

    “Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives…”

    And a famous comic…

    “Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.”

    ― Groucho Marx

  10. I’ve had a similar journey this life.

  11. As a very wise man once said…

    “Life is a series of disappointments interrupted by brief periods of false hope”

  12. B.e.a.u.t.i.f.u.l.

  13. i found the serenity prayer on a bookmark this summer, that was left serendipitiously at a bus station.
    the serenity prayer got me through some hard times, in the hospital and out… to have the courage to live, even tho survivor guilt made me feel like it wasn’t fair sometimes that I was ok when others… were not…

    to not give up, to accept the blessings of the universe, but in return, to offer my gifts back to the universe, those the universe brings to me, just as it brings me those who have the gifts i need to receive from.

    Thx for writing this julia!

    sincerely,
    Michael


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