I am on a train again. I had planned on going to NYC then on to Jamaica. Instead, after all of my well-made plans and efforts, I am on my way back to California. You know the way to make the God/desses laugh? Make plans.
My visiting Omega was a change in plans to begin with. I hadn’t planned on being there again until maybe September at the earliest. But even with all my bargains with the Universe, I found myself following a clear calling that defied every speck of rationale and heading to Omega before going on to Jamaica. It was supposed to be just a few days.
But instead, I was playing soccer, my foot stopped abruptly, and the rest of my leg did not. There was a pop and feeling like a rubber band snapped, followed by a searing hot pain shooting up and down my leg combined with feeling like I got hit really hard in my gut and wanting to throw up. Emergency room visit and x-ray showed no break (which I knew) and swelling and fluid which means ligament (which I also knew.) I hobbled out with a knee brace and crutches and some papers that basically said, “Something very wrong with knee. MRI needed to see exactly what.”
Only problem is MRI not deemed emergency, so I have to jump through a bunch of hoops and pay WAY more money if I stay in New York to deal with this because it is out of my “network” and therefore insurance will cover a lot less. And to top it off, the specialist recognized by my insurance has an opening in 3 WEEKS just to see me before then scheduling the MRI.
So, now, all of my well-made plans are fantastic material for tremendous giggles and belly laughs for all the Deities, and my crutching, hobbling self is on a train to NYC to fly back to San Francisco Bay Area. And my luggage had to be shipped back UPS because I can’t deal with luggage and myself.
But in the midst of all of this, I actually only had one day where my little inner girl needed to mope and whine and have a pitiful day. For the most part, I have just been really grateful for all the love and support I have received and for the fact that I even have insurance—even though it is a completely broken system. Thank my Framily (friend-family) support that I have insurance because I would be facing up to $10,000 costs (based on if I have to have surgery or not) without it!
One day, I just had a mini-melt down after being in pain for days and looking at having to reroute everything, and my lower lip protruded out pretty far, I whimpered and whined a bit, then got it out of my system and just got back to being grateful for how incredibly blessed I am.
So, in this moment, on the train, heading to NYC, I am filled with so much gratitude for all the love and support I experienced at Omega, for my new and wonderful friend Colin No Impact Man (noimpactproject.org) who is meeting me at Penn Station, and all the Framily in the Bay Area who are already calling and checking on me to make sure I have all the support I need.
Really, I have my moments where I wallow in my self-pity, but pretty quickly I snap out of it and remember how absolutely, amazingly blessed I am, and then look for how best to serve next. Even if I am on crutches and in a bit of pain, there is always a way to serve and a wealth of things to be thankful for.