The Meaning of Life

i LOVE how wonderful the Universe is sometimes. Other times, i rage into the darkness and feel like i have had enough of being alive. i am a woman of extremes it seems. i feel things deeply. Just about everything.

So when i feel delight and joy, i feel it completely. When i feel anger, sadness, and despair, i feel it equally deeply. Sometimes these feelings come in waves that are only moments apart.

And that is how my life has always been—except for the years i completely shut down and went numb because i did not know how to process it all. And sometimes, i still go through moments like that where i go through numbness and shut down.

But mostly, i work to remain present, open, loving, accepting, and in the space of gratitude. And the result is, i often end up having some pretty magical experiences.

Take for instance, these past couple weeks. As mentioned in the previous post, i was playing soccer, and i severely injured my knee. i was planning on going to the Caribbean to continue my search for a home. i always feel so much healthier and happier when i am in or next to that Sea. It feels like my cellular DNA restructures itself, and i feel lighter and brighter and so much healthier in what feels like mere moments. But with the injury, my life got rerouted… again, and now i find myself back in California (even further away from the home i am so deeply longing for) figuring out how to be here for the next few months, going through surgery and physical rehabilitation.

And yet, at the same time, i am recommended to a specialist who when he hears what i do for my life’s work, has his assistant work a miracle to get me scheduled in for surgery within a week, even though he is completely booked for almost a month. He has the surgery center opening a slot for him earlier than they normally do for him and he is coming in much earlier than he normally does, so that i can get on the road to recovery in time to be able to make it to my east coast events in early September.

And even my cab drivers are Angel messengers because this is what happens if we choose to focus on the gratitude and miracles of life. We always get what we are looking for. If we look for reasons to be upset, we will get proof overflowing of why the world is a mess and our lives are not as good as they “should” be. If we look for reasons to be happy and pleasantly surprised, we will find that. The “glasses” we put on every day have a whole lot to do with what we end up “seeing” that day.

So here’s the taxi drivers’ stories. The day is Monday and i am going to get my MRI to see what has happened to my knee. i crutch 15 minutes to the BART(Bay Area Rapid Transit public transportation system) and then take a cab from the BART stop i get off at to the MRI center.

The wonderful guy whose cab i get in is so helpful, asking me what he can do to assist me in getting into the car, and telling me to let him know whatever i need that he is there to help. He is so incredibly kind and helpful and supportive that i find myself so deeply touched that i am a little teary-eyed (i am such a mush.) He is a well built, strong, muscled arms, big shoulders, African American with a jaunty cap, twinkling eyes peering out from underneath the slightly tilted brim, and a big, generous smile.

When i finally get all settled in and we are on our way, i ask him how his day is going. He replies, “I always tell people, there are only two kinds of days… Good Days… (and with a dramatic pause) and Better Days! People ask me, ‘Well what about when something goes wrong?’ and I always tell them, ‘Well I’m alive ain’t I? Well then, it’s a Good Day!’”

He goes on to talk about how all people seem to care about is money and how unhappy most people seem. He says, “Now people like you for instance… here you are on crutches with a hurt leg, but here you are smiling and being nice and talking with me about how much we have to be happy about. See, that’s what life is about! It’s about being thankful and about being happy and sharing with others! Otherwise, what’s the point?! Life is too short and too special for sure to waste it being unhappy and ungrateful like so many folks do!”

Amen! Axe! (pronounced a’shay) Hallelujah! That’s Right! Fo’ Sho’! Hell, Yeah!

Damn, i love the Angels among us! That cab driver is a preacher of the highest sort behind the pulpit of a steering wheel.

And then, on the way back, my cab driver is a Sikh from India. He has a turban wrapped around his head which is a Sikh religious custom, with eyes as equally twinkling as the previous taxi driver, but even a little more mischievous glint in them for sure, and a wonderful accent with an upward lilt at the end of his statements that just feel light and happy.

He asks me, “Out dancing were you? A bit too much tequila?” As my draw drops in shock, he lets out a belly laugh, knowing i would never expect a Sikh cab driver to let out a statement like that. He is clearly enjoying himself and his shock value.

i burst out laughing, saying, “Well, not tequila and dancing this time, although you certainly have me pegged because when i do go dancing, it usually takes a bit of tequila to help me work up the nerve to get out on the dance floor!”

He nods his head knowingly, and says, “See, i know what life is about… life is about to be happy! Most people, see, they walk around with the things in their ears, listening to their own things, not looking at anyone, not smiling, not caring. Most people, see, they are unhappy! They do not know the meaning of life. They do not know they are missing the meaning of life by walking around not paying attention, not smiling, not caring. They miss the whole point! The whole purpose of life is… Be Happy! That, my friend, is the meaning of life!” He say with a huge grin and emphatic shake of his head that i thought for sure would dislodge the turban from his head, but no, it stayed firmly in place.

i think to myself, “That turban and this man are pure magic!” i say out loud, “You got that right! Can you believe how many people going through life never realizing that life can be so simple and wonderful?!” i feel the huge grin splitting my face, as i smile and laugh with delight that now, here, in one day, two taxi drivers are basically delivering the same exact message in their own unique ways. The message that life is simple, if we only allow it to be and commit to living life simply… to be happy and grateful and kind. That is the meaning of life. And that makes a WORLD of difference in this world!

We pull up to the BART station and i clumsily remove myself from the magic yellow carpet ride. i hobble into the station and for some odd reason feel so on top of the world that i think i can maneuver the down escalator. Or maybe more appropriately, i am so blissed and blessed out, i am not thinking at all. i try to step on the moving stairs, and of course, completely lose my balance. Luckily, i am cognizant enough to shift so that i fall backwards instead of forwards. As i land clumsily on my butt, my crutches going flying, and my hands crash into the metal steps, which shred two of my fingers. Blood starts pouring from the cut in my thumb, and all i can do is laugh hysterically as i basically throw myself off the end of the escalator to keep from getting completely broken up at the bottom of it. i am laughing so hard, tears are pouring out of my eyes.

And i say out loud, “Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! Life is GREAT!”

And that my friends… is the meaning of life.

In case you were wondering.

Love,
julia

From Whining To Winning

I am on a train again. I had planned on going to NYC then on to Jamaica. Instead, after all of my well-made plans and efforts, I am on my way back to California. You know the way to make the God/desses laugh? Make plans.

My visiting Omega was a change in plans to begin with. I hadn’t planned on being there again until maybe September at the earliest. But even with all my bargains with the Universe, I found myself following a clear calling that defied every speck of rationale and heading to Omega before going on to Jamaica. It was supposed to be just a few days.

But instead, I was playing soccer, my foot stopped abruptly, and the rest of my leg did not. There was a pop and feeling like a rubber band snapped, followed by a searing hot pain shooting up and down my leg combined with feeling like I got hit really hard in my gut and wanting to throw up. Emergency room visit and x-ray showed no break (which I knew) and swelling and fluid which means ligament (which I also knew.) I hobbled out with a knee brace and crutches and some papers that basically said, “Something very wrong with knee. MRI needed to see exactly what.”

Only problem is MRI not deemed emergency, so I have to jump through a bunch of hoops and pay WAY more money if I stay in New York to deal with this because it is out of my “network” and therefore insurance will cover a lot less. And to top it off, the specialist recognized by my insurance has an opening in 3 WEEKS just to see me before then scheduling the MRI.

So, now, all of my well-made plans are fantastic material for tremendous giggles and belly laughs for all the Deities, and my crutching, hobbling self is on a train to NYC to fly back to San Francisco Bay Area. And my luggage had to be shipped back UPS because I can’t deal with luggage and myself.

But in the midst of all of this, I actually only had one day where my little inner girl needed to mope and whine and have a pitiful day. For the most part, I have just been really grateful for all the love and support I have received and for the fact that I even have insurance—even though it is a completely broken system. Thank my Framily (friend-family) support that I have insurance because I would be facing up to $10,000 costs (based on if I have to have surgery or not) without it!

One day, I just had a mini-melt down after being in pain for days and looking at having to reroute everything, and my lower lip protruded out pretty far, I whimpered and whined a bit, then got it out of my system and just got back to being grateful for how incredibly blessed I am.

So, in this moment, on the train, heading to NYC, I am filled with so much gratitude for all the love and support I experienced at Omega, for my new and wonderful friend Colin No Impact Man (noimpactproject.org) who is meeting me at Penn Station, and all the Framily in the Bay Area who are already calling and checking on me to make sure I have all the support I need.

Really, I have my moments where I wallow in my self-pity, but pretty quickly I snap out of it and remember how absolutely, amazingly blessed I am, and then look for how best to serve next. Even if I am on crutches and in a bit of pain, there is always a way to serve and a wealth of things to be thankful for.

Love,

julia

Recent Talk You Might Be Interested In

Hello Everyone.

i was recently blessed with the opportunity to share at the Midwest Yoga Conference and one of my talks was recorded and posted in multiple links shared below.

Sharing here in case you are interested.

Love,
julia

And Another Thing…

I am in Washington D.C. after a week in St. Louis, Missouri. I had such a great time, and my heart is filled with so much joy.

I was in Missouri for a dear friend’s wedding, and it was such a delight and honor to be included in her special day. She and I have known one another since I was about 14 years old, and we were roommates for a couple of years from around age 18 to 20. She is one of the very few people whom I keep in contact with from those days in my life, and she is the only person from that time that I keep in regular contact with.

She and I went through some very intense years together. For me, knowing what I did and what I went through during that time of my life, it is a miracle that I came out alive. Many of our friends did not. A couple nights before the wedding, we were flipping through photo albums, “That person is dead, that person is dead,” became a sad mantra as we looked at the photos from our high school and college days.

Being with my friend and her partner leading up to the wedding was such a gift. They are great together, and I saw how wonderfully they balance one another. After having seen my friend go through some really bad relationships, it makes my heart sing with joy to see her with someone who is so caring, supportive, and kind.

The wedding ceremony was wonderful and so much fun. They did their ceremony like a talk show, game show format with questions and answers, which were hilarious. It was such a fun way to see who they are together and created a sense of play and lightheartedness in the ceremony, which is the first time I ever experienced that in the actual ceremony.

I also got to see two friends from back in my Jonesboro, Arkansas days whom I had not seen in a very long time. And I got to see my friend’s parents whom I have known over all these years as well because her mom was my art teacher for many years and her dad has actually been involved and helping on the campaign to Save South Central Farm (www.southcentralfarmers.org). It was interesting to feel the time warp of on one hand, feeling like no time at all had passed, and yet on the other, feeling like I am totally different person.

Leading up to the wedding, I did media and an event for a wonderful organization, Operation Food Search (www.ofsearch.org). Operation Food Search (OFS) provides food for over 120,000 people a month, nearly half of which are children, who would otherwise go hungry and malnourished. OFS reclaims food that is still nutritious and would otherwise be thrown away and reclaims home items that would end up as waste and refurbishes them and sells them to raise money for more food. They recognize that there is no such thing as waste, no throw away food, no throw away resources, and no throw away people.

The benefit that I did was catered by two local, fabulous businesses. It is incredibly exciting to see such conscious businesses in places like St. Louis. The lunch was sandwiches catered by Local Harvest, a store and café that sources as much local food as they can. They work with local farmers and local food artisans, for things like bread, cheese, and jams and canned foods. Although they are not vegetarian or vegan, they are highlighting local farms, farmers, and food artisans, and they made a very delicious vegan and vegetarian lunch for all who came to the benefit—many of whom told me it was the first time they had heard about veganism—and that they loved the lunch, thought it was delicious, and were rethinking their food choices and how that impacts our world. For dessert, we had the most incredibly delicious vegan carrot cupcakes from a wonderful café and art gallery called, Sweet Art. Can, I say, “YUM! WOW! Freakin’ AMAZING!” Oh, MY!!!! Truly, the most delicious, moist, and light cupcakes I have ever had in my life—vegan or non-vegan. My mouth is watering just thinking about them. Can you tell?

It was a wonderful week, following on the heels of a fabulous weekend at the Midwest Yoga Conference. I had a great time there offering a talk, co-leading a workshop with the funny and great Yoga teacher and co-founder of the Midwest Yoga Conference, Jonny Kest, and being on a panel and taking a class with the absolutely fabulous and remarkable Seane Corn, Yoga teacher extraordinaire and founder of Off The Mat (www.offthematintotheworld.org).

I am feeling so filled up from my time over the last week and a half, and am really happy to be here in D.C. with 6 young leaders/facilitators and 20 young people committed to stepping up their effectiveness and leadership.

Even in the midst of the challenges and struggles I experience, I am never very far away from the gratitude I feel for being so incredibly blessed that this is my life.

Here is to my dear friends and, “Wuv! Twu Wuuuv!” (A Princess Bride reference for those of you who might have seen this classic, one of my all-time favorites.) Here is to Yoga and Service and those who recognize how vitally they work together, and here is to recognizing that there is no such thing as “waste.” And really, at the end of the day, if you synthesize all of this down, it is all about Wuv, twu wuuuuv in Action!

Wuv u,

Julia

Love Is So Much More Than A Four Letter Word

I am in St. Louis, Missouri, for a dear friend, and previous roommate from long ago, who is getting married. I am so very happy for her. Her partner and fiancé is a truly kind and wonderful human being.

I am such a cynic in the realm of romance, and at the same time, I am such a hopeless romantic. It seems that in this area, like in pretty much every aspect of my life, I am a walking contradiction, dancing in the never-ending dance of duality, of which I constantly comment on—to the point where it seems redundant and passé.

Gods and Goddesses save me from the monotony of me… and yet, here still I am. Imagine that.

I am not sure if maybe the grown up in me is the cynic and the little girl in me still believes in fairytales. Or maybe it is the little girl in me who is both… that is probably more the case.

The little girl in me witnessed one screwed up “relationship” after another—parent to parent, parent to me, others to others, and others to me (recognizing on my path now, that there is truly no such thing as “other” but you know what I mean.) The little girl in me grew up and grew old very quickly. Too quickly. And at the same time, I think and feel that she never gave up hope that there is something worth falling completely in love for. I know that is what has fueled my activism and service. I fell in love with the Redwoods, and through that experience, fell in love with this Sacred Earth and our World.

Somehow, I have been very challenged in this experience of giving myself completely to loving another human being and having that experienced in return. Growing up, and in some of my pitiful attempts at adult relationships, my experience taught me that loving people is a minefield that explodes all too frequently, causing very real physical harm as well as emotional and mental trauma.

I have spent years, hours, minutia of minutes, and multiple amounts of money looking into, undoing, and transforming all the baggage I carried around for so long from my experiences growing up. Ah, all that luggage I was carrying around, I could have started my own package transportation business. Watch out UPS! I have since unpacked much of that musty, mildewed, so out of fashion and out of usefulness trunks and boxes, but it seems I still have more, if I am to be perfectly honest with myself… and now all of you.

The more I write, the more I am clear that it is indeed my inner little girl who is the angry, hurt cynic and the ever-so-pathetic hopeless romantic. Maybe, I, the present, here and now Julia, am neither end of the spectrum, but somehow precariously balanced somewhere in the middle—without being “middle of the road” UGH!

I want to “lose” myself to Love in order to experience whole new awareness and experience of “self” while at the same time remaining true to my path and with an awareness that there is no Prince or Princess Charming. I long for and love the feeling and experience of adoration, both when I adore someone and am adored in return. According to the dictionary, “adore” means to “love someone deeply” and to “worship God.” Maybe that is why I so deeply long to adore—to experience God/dess in that space of connection and mirroring with another human being. I have tasted the Divine in the early-morning dewdrops on blades of grass in fields and in the fog-filled canopy of the Redwoods. I have lost my sense of “self” in the Sea and Ocean and at the tops of mountains and on the precipice of canyons and in looking eye to eye and soul to soul with a wild wolf. So many experiences in the other-than-human life, I have lost all sense of “self” as separate or other than. With people, I “know” I am never separate from, but I have never experienced that complete melting with and immersion of God/dess in the human experience. There is something mystical for me in the feeling of experiencing mutual adoration with another human being.

So here is to my friends and to all who are courageous and crazy enough to fall into and rise up in love. Here is to losing one’s sense of “self” in the journey of love and adoration that grows and expands what “self” can mean and hold and share and serve. Here is to all those who choose to dance across the high-wire of love and adoration knowing that sometimes that wire is attached to explosives and yet the possibility is so beautiful that they dance anyway.

Enjoy the dance.

Love, and the ever-expanding experience of what that can mean,

Julia

Re-Emerging

i haven’t written for a while. i have been more contemplative. Every so often, i think about ending writing on my blog and closing down my facebook accounts and basically disappearing in the web world. But then, every so often, something happens that makes me think my taking the time to write, share thoughts, and sometimes ask for support on petitions or fundraising actually makes some kind of a difference– even if a small one, so i continue on.

i don’t have a crystal ball. i don’t really know how much of a difference any of this makes really. i get tired of people’s projections on me and sometimes their downright meanness and nastiness. i get tired of people’s sense of entitlement with me– as if just because i am a public figure who puts myself out there publicly– all of a sudden, their specific views, want, needs, and demands of me are righteous and right and i am wrong if i do not take them on. i know i open myself up to this by being public, and that is part of why so often i just want to disappear. i would not be surprised if i get some feedback to this posting that is going to be more reinforcement of the previously mentioned entitlement, projections, and judgments.

But for some reason, i keep writing (even if i take occasional pauses from it) and i keep putting myself back out there publicly (even though it is a lot less than i used to.) i am a human being. i am not a super hero. i am not a thing to be objectified, labelled, torn apart, or built up to some grandiose idea of myself. i am just a person who had my heart blown wide open and care very, very much about the Earth and all of its species and life that it supports. i am just a person, stumbling my way along, doing the very best i know how to live a life of loving, joyous service. i am one of millions (maybe billions, i am not clear on that one) who cares and is trying to make a positive difference.

This posting is not about asking for sympathy or complaining about people (although i do get hurt and frustrated and worn out by people sometimes.) If anything this posting is an invitation for all of us to look at our lives and ask ourselves if we are doing things because we are inspired and motivated to or because we feel like we “should.” i am not always sure which is the reasons for my choices. And at times when i am not clear, i often draw more within to try to find clarity. If i took on everyone’s opinions, i would be a very unhealthy and multiple, split-personality human being. When i need clarity, i go into the silence, i go into nature, i go into prayer. And when i have some clarity, even if i don’t have “all” the answers, i re-emerge which according to the Mirriam-Webster’s dictionary is partly defined as, “To come into being through evolution.”

May we all come ever more into our authentic being through the evolution of life’s journey.

Love,

julia

Healing The Disease of Disconnect

I am disgusted, saddened, and outraged by the racist and ignorant immigrant bill just signed into law by the Arizona governor, Jan Brewer—although sadly not surprised. I choose the word “immigrant” and not “immigration” on purpose because we are talking about very real people’s lives, not just some process. It is supported and was signed into law by a woman. And now, she follows that up with reversing the law that provides benefits to domestic partners. A woman who has obviously lost touch with the Divine Feminine—proof that just because someone has either female or male genitalia does not in itself mean anything.

The Divine Feminine is about caring and nurturing, inclusivity, partnership, and community. The Divine Feminine sees the interrelationship and interrelatedness of all life. The Divine Masculine is about serving and protecting these facets of the Divine Feminine. In this way, all is in balance or seeking balance. Unfortunately, the feminine and masculine when not in Divinity is out of balance and can be highly destructive as we see with Arizona Governor Jan Brewer, and with the horrible environmental policies and push and same War language as Bush from Obama. When not held to account for our highest selves, we all are one choice away from being incredibly destructive.

Thankfully, there are courageous people in politics standing up against the racist and hateful policies of Jan Brewer, including San Francisco Mayor, Gavin Newsom who has put a moratorium on city officials travelling to Arizona on any city business and is looking into how to create a city-wide boycott against Arizona in as many ways as possible to take a stand against this woman’s destructive policies.

The Disease of Disconnect is dangerous and powerful. This is our calling to be even more committed to living lives of healing and connection wherever and however we can—from our daily choices to taking to the streets to looking at our comfort zones and being willing to challenge ourselves to grow beyond our fear to live lives of powerful service.

Love in Action,

julia

Blast To The Past

It has been approximately 23 years since I last saw my friends from when I was a little girl. But it felt almost like no time had passed at all in some ways. From the time I was about 4 years old until about 8 years old, my two brothers and I had best friends who were also 2 boys and a girl, and they also were brothers and a sister—JR (whose real name is Jesus which I think is cool and always did!) now Jesi, Marcus and Mercy.

After my family started travelling, I only saw them once or twice and the last time I saw them was only very briefly as a teenager. So much has happened in all our lives—some of us, myself included, in and out of some serious trouble. Big changes in all our lives for sure. Of course, that is often what happens after over 20 years. The beautiful thing was how we have all made it through, are growing and learning, and loving our lives.

But even after all these years, it felt in some ways as if almost no time had passed. I felt like we could go outside and start running around, playing King of the Mountain (and trust me, I had NO problem whatsoever growing up, proving I had what it took to be a King or at the very least, a rough and tumble second!) or football (which I also happened to be pretty darn good at!) or getting into some kind of mischief (some things never change!) I used to do ANYTHING on a dare because there was no way I was going to let anyone have any reason to call me a wimp or anything like that. I could and would do anything, and even if I were afraid to do it, no one would ever know!

If my memory serves me right, which might or not be true, the first person I ever kissed was Marcus on a dare. I had a huge crush on him anyway, but I was terrified to kiss him, but I wasn’t about to let him or anyone else know that! So, we kissed, and it was a very quick kiss followed by both of us rubbing our hands fiercely across our mouths and going, “YUCK!” Secretly, even though I was freaked out by it, I really was glad we were dared to do it. Luckily, kisses have gotten better since then.

Unfortunately, Marcus was not able to join us for the reunion, so I shared this memory with Jesi and Mercy, but with no ability to check in with Marcus to see if he remembers it. I missed not being able to see Marcus, but it was so incredibly wonderful to see Mercy and Jesi! I am so grateful to be reconnected with them after all these years.

I, also, had the opportunity to see many people from my early years, who were a part of the church my Dad started when we lived in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. These were friends of my parents and many were like our family in those growing up years.

Some looked exactly like I remembered. I couldn’t believe that time had seemed to have completely left them untouched outwardly. Some, are definitely aging, and I am so glad I got to see them, as I am not sure if I will see them again. Of course, I have changed on many levels, not only outwardly, but also, in my beliefs and views. I spent a good bit of time just smiling and not saying a lot to some because I know they were sharing from a place of love even though much of who I am and what I believe is so very, very different from them. I think some have read my blog writings and know that I am very different and are very loving and supportive even if we are very different. Some, I feel, if they read and knew all of who I am would be really challenged to say the least. Overall, it was such a treat and a blessing to reconnect after all these years, even if only briefly.
So much of my life has felt segmented. There was the Pennsylvania days, the living on the road days, the living in Jonesboro days, living in Fayetteville days, living in Luna days, and the returning to ground days. It has felt really healing to have these opportunities to connect some of the different threads of my life and begin to weave a new and more whole tapestry of myself and my life.

May we all find ways to reweave the threads from our past, so together, we can create a future that is the gift of a holistic and whole presence in the present.

Love,

julia

On Tour Across The Heartland

Touring across America. A different world in many ways from the Jamaica I just left. And in some ways, not different at all. In spite of all the challenges I experienced in Jamaica, I loved helping and supporting the homeless shelter (http://www.greathuts.com/shelter.htm), and I miss the friends I made in Jamaica and the beautiful nature, especially that magical cove of Boston Bay.

I started this tour in Indiana, supporting What’s Your Tree? (WYT) and the Center for Community Empowerment in Bloomington and Jasper. There are some absolutely wonderful folks participating in both of them. I was hosted the first night in the home of two absolutely lovely and caring people, one of whom is a WYT group leader. They made a fantastic vegan Indian dinner and friends of theirs brought decadently delicious fruit salad with candied ginger and vegan chocolate cake. My mouth is watering just thinking about it! From there, I went to Manchester College in North Manchester, Indiana. Again, I met some truly wonderful people who care very much about wanting to make a difference in the world.

Next up was Minnesota and College of Saint Benedict and partner college of St. John. The shared campuses of these two colleges are quite beautiful. St. John’s campus is huge and includes gorgeous lakes, prairies, forests, and an arboretum. I met some incredible people there and wished I had a couple extra days to spend visiting both the land and some of the people I met there. If only when I went to college, I had gone to a college like this one! I want to go back and take classes from these combined campuses!

Sioux City, Iowa was next on the journey. Kristin, the young woman who was tasked by the Sustainability Committee with bringing a speaker to the campus, and discovered my story while searching online, blew me away with her commitment and follow-through. Morningside College Campus is a long way from sustainability—at least they recycle, but that is about it. So people like Kristin and Tom, the director of the Sustainability Committee (who is also a Joyous Vegan! : ) really are courageous leaders!

And, of course, as most everyone knows about me, I LOVE food—well that is good food. : ) I was treated to a really delicious dinner at Morningside. The college catering made the dinner, and I was actually blown away by the quality and diversity of options for the dinner—especially considering I was in Iowa and considering the level of sustainability awareness on campus! There were roasted potatoes and squash with sautéed shitake mushrooms; Asian rice noodles with avocado; summer rolls with tofu, basil, and mixed greens; salad with a fruit vinaigrette; ginger vegetable broth consume, and fruit skewers for dessert! On tour, I have gotten used to “making do”, so a few days thus far with really delicious vegan fare has been a fabulous treat!

The event, although attended by a small number of people, the QUALITY of people there blew me away! It was SUCH an honor and a joy to spend time with such incredible people! It is one thing to be aware and active in places like California and New York. It is another thing altogether to be aware and active in places like Sioux City, Iowa! I am so humbled and touched by my experience with these special people!

I am now off to go to a gathering with people from my early childhood days. They are people who were members of the church my Dad started when I was about 3 years old, and whom I have not seen since I was about 12 years old. A total blast to my past!

I am continuously humbled and blessed by the people I get to meet in doing this work and the incredible places I get to see and work to protect.

Here is to you and the courageous leaders everywhere they may be!

Love in Action,

julia

Thoughts On Leaving Jamaica

Left Jamaica this morning. Bittersweet Goodbye. So much of the experience of the place and people was so wonderful. And some parts were incredibly challenging.

The Caribbean Sea is exquisite. Getting in it everyday, usually two or three times a day, was such a gift. The minute I enter that water, everything in me feels so calm, happy, and perfect. It is some of the best medicine I have ever experienced. When I am in that water, I feel home.

The lush jungle in Portland Parish, where I spent most of my time, is a cornucopia of colors, sounds, flavors, and feelings. Crystal clear waterfalls, every shade of green imaginable, vines growing around trees filled with birds chirping and singing, flowers of bright yellows, oranges, and reds. Papayas, bananas, coconuts, breadfruit, and ackee—my new favorite fruit—although it is used for savory not sweet. This place is truly beautiful in so many respects—a piece of Heaven on Earth.

As for the people, in Jamaica, like everywhere, there is such a mix. It was interesting learning the culture of Jamaican people, and then getting to see the variances within those cultural dynamics. The joy, humor, and vibrancy of many of the people, even in the most challenging of situations are truly a delight to experience. Not to mention that I saw more absolutely physically beautiful people in one town than I usually do in a huge city, 10 times or more its size.

I had to be extra mindful because more than once I realized I was staring at someone, completely enthralled with their beauty. My experience was this made people either uncomfortable or they saw it as my coming on to them and then tried to “link up”—Jamaican term for actually connecting with or meeting up with someone about anything, but often used to reference sexual hook-ups.

The biggest challenge in Jamaica for me was around having huge problems with my lungs from dust, smoke, and pollution. It is ironic that I had such problems with my lungs because one of my biggest reasons for wanting to move to the tropics is that normally, my lung problems, which I experience all too frequently in my life, disappear when I am in the tropics near the sea or ocean. But this trip, my lungs got worse, not better.

Another challenge for me is the extreme religious fundamentalism that pervades every part of Jamaican society, accompanied with the usual huge hypocrisy that goes along with the rigidity of religions worldwide.

As many people know, I am not a huge fan of religions in general, although I am deeply Spiritual, and do my best to honor the Spirit that is within all the different religious traditions. My issues with most religions is that they don’t recognize that they are not “THE TRUTH,” but rather are a tradition passed down from previous generations of the “truths” of that time. This does not negate the truth that does exist in every religion I have studied or explored because, of course, there is wisdom and inspiration in them all.

It is just the belief that certain religions own the rights on what “TRUTH” must mean for everyone, everywhere, forever that makes me sick, hurt, and sometimes angry. And add to that, the fact the world’s most known and recognized religions are based on a male, patriarchal system and God (except for Hinduism and Buddhism that also have female deities—even though they too are still male deity dominated), what little interest I had in the tradition to begin with, pretty much disappears. I am interested in truth and learning from anywhere and everywhere, it just gets hard when it is always told from the male perspective and delivered by men and saying that the Higher Power is male.

As a woman, I challenge this belief system frequently, and have since I was young which was problematic considering my father is a preacher and my mother is an intense adherent to her beliefs around Christianity—regardless of how I expressed that I experienced her religious intensity as negative and even abusive. I am constantly amazed at how few women challenge the patriarchal religious systems, and how many women embrace lower status in societies directly related to religious beliefs. Somehow, many women, all over the world, have embraced a subservient standard by accepting and supporting and adhering to belief systems that link men and male energy to power and to the Divine so that a woman’s place is always as the servant to that male-dominated system.

In Jamaica, religious beliefs are fierce. And they are prevalent, and they are proselytized. And many people are homophobic to the extreme. And meanwhile, from what I could tell from my time there, most families are made up of many children, none or few who share the same father and sadly, all too frequently, no father present at all in their lives. And it is a common, accepted practice that men cheat on their girlfriends and wives with regularity. And then say, “Praise Jah” or quote scripture when it is convenient to back up some narrow-mined belief. Women are seen as something to be used for sex and producing children—and many of the women seem to feed right into this belief. The status symbol of the man’s virility is how many kids he has—even though too many do absolutely nothing for their children once they are born.

I am not trying to say these beliefs and behaviors are true for everyone, of course. But they are prevalent and pervasive—enough to really stand out. And it makes my heart sad.

As for trash and waste, much of it is burned causing massive amounts of pollution—hence my lung problems. What isn’t burnt is often thrown on the ground and in the streams. Jamaica exports its trash to I am not sure where, shipping it out on barges, and meanwhile, the only thing it recycles is plastic bottles and doesn’t do a very good job of that.

And of course, there is the huge discrepancy between the haves and have-nots. Individuals and businesses in the tourism industry are making millions while workers building the hotels and resorts and working at them live in shacks. All of this is supported by a corrupt government—as many governments are wont to be (including the US government and the Obama administration. )

And, really, what much of the aforementioned challenges point to is how numerous threads of similarity run through so many places that I have been, and experiences I have had. Everywhere, there is beauty and devastation close by. Everywhere, there is profound power of the human spirit to rise above the most intense problems with laughter and love, and yet its close neighbor is the ability of the human being to be manipulative, exploitative, violent, and cruel. The dance of duality is part of the human experience. It is part of my journey in this lifetime to try to find a way to dance this dance with grace, compassion, love, and at the same time, my fierce commitment to integrity and not shying away from calling out injustice and unhealthy choices wherever I see them.

I say goodbye to Jamaica and head out on tour across the US. I am still in search of home in the Caribbean—a place within walking distance of the sea (preferably right next to the sea) where I can also grow food and have my own place with kitchen, and add to that very cheap rent or the ability to barter for rent. Where are my ruby, red slippers? If you find them, will you let me know?

Love,

julia